Lazy Sunday

In response to the question apparently raised by yesterday's post, no, I don't have anyone specific in mind with that reference. It resonated, though, for reasons I'm not sure I can verbalize, except to say that I've always felt like we have a path in life. That we're given the challenges we are, put in the situations we are, encounter the people we do, for reasons beyond our understanding. Our job, then, is to learn what we can from each one, take whatever data we can gather from each interaction, observe and synthesize that information into what informs us as we move through the rest of our lives.

It's not an uncommon philosophy. It's fairly fatalist, I suppose. But, it's the way I make sense of my life, you know?

Today was a relatively low-key, minimally productive kind of day. I went to the Starbucks, got some actual work done. Then I went to the gym, where I spent a little too long, I think (but, there was an SVU marathon on and the episode wasn't over, so I just kind of kept going on the treadmill.....), after which I came home for a little puppy lovin'. Little Maxine was visiting us overnight, and I got such a good double dose of snuggles, that I put my head down...you know, just for a moment...I didn't actually get any real restorative sleep, but it was good for the soul. But I finally got myself motivated enough to get up and get in the shower, with lofty goals of taking Little Maxine back to Sparrow's, then going to Ulta (I need sunscreen and hair dye), Lane Bryant (I need pants), and Target (I need stuff. Not the least of which is groceries). And I feel like there was somewhere else I was going to go, too. But then I get out of the shower and find my dog happily devouring the end of my bottle of melatonin.

I thought...hmm...

So I Googled, and it seemed to be fine. And, just to be sure, I called the vet. Who couldn't really say definitively, so they gave me two phone numbers to call. One turned out to be Carolina Poison Control, whom I talk to not infrequently and was most certainly NOT going to call and be all "so, about my dog..." The other one was the ASPCA poison control line, which seemed appropriate. And, apparently, charges $60 per consultation. Which...you know what? Fine. It was worth the peace of mind to hear that it would probably just make her sleepy.

Which...well....duh.

So, I aborted the errands mission to keep an eye on the pooch. Rene came and picked up the small one, and I got to meet the future Mr. Rene, who was very nice. And then I spent a few hours scouring over the photography books I bought a couple of weeks ago, one of which is specifically about my camera. I took some pictures on the various settings, and made some notes, and then flipped through the other one, which is "for teens, by teens." I'm thinking the teens had some help, because it was the most useful and accessible book I found when I was sitting on the floor at the Border's sifting through every book I saw that looked mildly useful in the photography section. And had the best pictures. Which is kind of the point, isn't it?

I didn't take anything super exciting (I pointed and shot at whatever was sitting next to me on the bed), but I got a couple that were kind of cool. One was of yarn.

But for the shots in which I was fiddling with the shutter speed, yarn just wouldn't cut it. Fortunately, I had a willing subject....

What the heck?

What's with all the dead celebrities? First Ed McMahon (who's gonna bring me my Publisher's Clearinghouse Winnings now?). Then Farrah Fawcett. Then Michael Jackson.

Who knew celebrity was so bad for your health?

So, I've been on walk-ins the past two days. Blissfully, it was not awful. Yesterday I didn't see a single patient, weirdly. I directed traffic a bit, but the rest of the crisis team saw the people that showed up and I got to go to lecture. Weirdly, no one showed at all until the afternoon.

Same thing happened today - no one arrived before 2, I think. There was a woman in the ER I had to dispo to New State Hospital, but, it's not like I haven't done that a couple hundred times. Peng and I ordered lunch (to use up my extra meal card money, which is about to disappear next week) for Magical Corrina the All-Knowing, who is changing jobs (although staying in the department - whew!), and Elise, her replacement (through no likely coincidence, Elise is also her spouse. I don't think it's nepotism, actually. I think it's that they knew Elise and had already figured out that she was awesome). So we ordered subs from this Italian place in town and sat and ate lunch together, and it was delightful.

I decided, after lunch, to try and organize my office, because we're changing offices next week (the Pink Office is moving to a more central location. It's terrifying, I'm sure). Which is, of course, when all the walk-in patients started showing up. Four of them turned up. At least three needed admission.

I finished mine in time, though to have a chat with my program director about this ongoing issue I've been having with one of the attendings. I'll probably say more about this eventually, but she was really supportive, and able to stay very objective, and I can't even begin to tell you how much that means to me.

So after work I picked up Little Maxine, because Sparrow's out of town for the weekend. The small one was a very cute little travelling companion for the drive home, and turned into a tiny hellion when we got here. She walked in the house and promptly started to poop on the floor. ::sigh...:: But, all seems to be well again. She and Maggie are playing a game of chase at the moment. I love it when they actually get along...

I think the furry ones and I are going to bed down for the night, now, though. I've been going to the gym at a quarter past dark this week, in the mornings before work. I'm liking it, but I'm definitely still adjusting. So we're sleeping in tomorrow. You know, like, 6:45.

Mi vida loca, people....

Tired....again...still....

Ohhh, it was a long day. Of course, after sleeping through yesterday (I did make it to Starbucks, but that was about it), I woke up this morning at like 3:30. So Maggie and I watched some TV, and fussed on the internet, and then long about 7 I finally got up and went...um...to the Starbucks (I'm sensing a theme, no?). Until the gym opened up (it USED to be 24h...not so much these days), and then I spent too long there (that was a feeling-the-tired-but-too-stubborn-to-stop kind of workout), and then went to the Whole Foods, where I spent too much money. Came home, laid around for a while, then finally got my ass in gear and showered and headed for the Lane Bryant, where I spent (again) way too much money buying all manner of things that cannot be mentioned (which is fortunate, because things have been raggedy for a while in the unmentionables drawer. And to quote Warrick on CSI, "Ain't nothin' sadder than a girl with raggedy drawers").

But then I met Peng at the mall and we fussed around with makeup (Peng, not so much with the makeup-wearing. She has Chap-Stick. And occasional - very occasional - nail polish) in preparation for the wedding. I think we found a look that works, at least preliminarily (we'll let the Mary Kay lady weigh in on that, later, too). And then we had a lovely dinner at the restaurant where Chef...um....chefs. I had this lemon tart that was absolutely to die for. The cassoulet was good, too (although meat-ful...I'd never had cassoulet with meat in it), and the salad, the wine, the company - all delightful. Tart, though? Makes you a little weak in the knees. Ah, French desserts.

Peng? Had (I'm so not kidding) sweetbreads and head cheese for dinner. Also mussels, but those weren't nearly as amusing.

I have a 7am patient tomorrow, and then am on call AGAIN tomorrow night. I meant to be in bed an hour ago, but dinner took a while and then I had to go snuggle Little Maxine (Sparrow's on call) and gosh, that was just rough...but perhaps I'll get my tucas to bed now....

Puppies

Little Maxine is visiting...

Up and down

It's been a day...

So I went to see my trainer this morning. He kicked my ass. KICKED my ass. I was a little whiny, and kept losing my balance (and dropped a 5 lb medicine ball on my head, but that's another story entirely. I'm not always sure why he puts up with me...I mean, except for the fact that I'm paying him to do so). But we get to the last set of exercises, these inclined crunches alternating with a set of twisty things...and I'm doing the twisty things, and I was like...oh.....shit. I'm gonna throw up. Like, now. Gonna vomit.

So we stopped, two sets from the end. I could barely talk for trying to keep down what little breakfast I'd had. Gomer says, you need to eat something.

I would've laughed at him if I hadn't thought it would guarantee that I'd puke on his shoes.

He says, you need to eat something. Do you have anything? I shook my head, because, you know, see above, re: shoes.

So he goes into his desk and hands me a banana. I shake my head again. He says, really. Eat the banana. You'll feel better instantly. Eat the banana.

(Freud would have something to say about this.)

(Freud would have even more to say about the fact that it worked like a charm.)

Like a charm. I finally got a couple bites of banana down and was like...oh....that IS better.

I was telling this story to my friend, a family doc, whom I had lunch with, and she was like, duh, your blood sugar dropped. But it came on so suddenly. And I wasn't shaky or anything beforehand. And, and, and....

(No. Seriously. Duh.)

But, in better news, I had a lovely lunch with a good friend. It was delightful. She's in private practice now, and paints a wonderful picture of life in the real world. Plus, the food was good. And Maggie may have a new puppy play date.

In less better news, though, I sent my dad to the ER, because he's sick, although, he probably just has the flu (they sent him home after a really looooong wait). And Little Maxine is spending the night with us, which is nice. But she had a little seizure, which was a little scary. It's not the first one she's had, but it is the first time that's happened with us. Maggie was ALL OVER HER - so worried. Poor little bit. She's fine, though (and Maggie and I have recovered, too).

So, tomorrow, back to work. It's going to be a busy week, and then I'm on call on Saturday. Bleh.

We're all going to pile on the bed and have a rest....

Are you kidding me???

So...this morning. 7am. Little Miss Maxine wakes me up, because, after all, IT'S MORNING!! MORNING! WAKE UP! WAKE UUUUUUUP!! (Max is quite the morning person, as it were.) Alright, fine. We have a little snuggle time, we head to Starbucks. Except we didn't make it, because Sparrow was on her way home and wanted her dog back. So we went and visited with her a little while, and then Mags and I actually did go to the Starbucks, and I was going to drop her off and then go to the gym, but, then I decided for some reason or another that I had to come in, and then I sat down. and then I checked my email, and then I decided, oh, boy, am I tired....you know, maybe I'll just take a nap. Maybe I'll go later.

Fortunately, I stalled, because then my phone rings.

So, I think I've mentioned that my original landlord (for like a minute) sold her house to the neighbor, who then parcelled off my house with the main house, and kept Sparrow's with his property, and is now selling my house and the big house. But, you know, they'll only show my little cottage if they have a serious buyer, and in this market, ehhh....

Okay, so at like 11am, my phone rings, and it's the realtor, and he's like, hey, you got my voicemail yesterday, right, saying that I'm showing your cottage at 1?

I said....what?? N-no....I....one???? Dude, no, that's a really bad idea. Because my house....whoa. Really, I haven't moved in yet. There's still boxes everywhere. There's dog hair everywhere. It's muddy paw season. The toilet seat has been broken since before I moved in, and like a month ago, the handy man dropped off the new one with a note saying "let me know when is a good time to install this" (uh, how about when you came into my house and left it here??). There's a sink full of dishes and a floor full of dirty laundry. The dining room table is three feet deep in crap. What??? WHAT??? You want to show this place now? Today? In two hours? Are you fucking kidding me?

He says, they're from out of town. They're really nice people, you'd like them. And I left you a message.

(For the record, that's exactly what he said to me, with emphasis on the attitude of "message". I said nothing of what's above after "Really, I haven't moved in yet." And there was a lot more swearing when this went on in my head...)

So I scrambled until quarter to one. I cleared more than a trash can full of crap out of my house, replaced the toilet seat, and somehow set my vacuum cleaner on fire trying to suck up the dog hair. And then Maggie and I made a run for it.

Truthfully, the house did look a lot better than it did when I got home from Starbucks. Still not as good as I would've liked, though, not even close. Which....I mean, I haven't really moved in yet (even though I've lived here, what, eight months now??), because I haven't really figured out what to do with all of my stuff in this tiny little place. But apparently it was good enough, because the realtor said they liked it.

So, Mags and I bummed around for about two hours until they left (! I don't know when they got there, but, dude). I eventually got the dishes done....around 6, when I was making dinner. The rest of the day has been less eventful, fortunately. And now we're watching Wedding Crashers on TBS. Which....it's not my favorite movie, but the cleaned-up version is pretty funny. Vince Vaughn's exclamation of "Jesus Christ!" just got translated into "Cheese and Rice!" Because, really, who doesn't invoke a nice vegetarian melange when someone dumps a bottle of rubbing alcohol on their open wound?

Y'all, it's time for bed....

"Fish like decorations."

From last night's Bones, which I watched this morning, and...I'm still not sure what I think of it. But that line made me cackle like a drunken chicken, which I think is the official signal that my brain has, indeed, turned to mush.

So, in lieu of (more) incoherent babbling, I give you pictures.

Maggie, trying to use her powers of mind control to get me to hand over my dinner.

And Little Maxine, who's with us tonight 'cuz Sparrow's on call again. Poor pensive pup misses her mama, I think...

Double trouble

I got three words for y'all.....

Three. Day. Weekend.

Ahh. Such a wonderful prospect.

Not sure what exactly Mags and I are going to do with it, but we're excited. I'm thinking maybe I can actually get something done around the house. I have a ton of notes to write. I might actually write a meaningful blog post. And Peng and I are going (squee!!) wedding dress shopping on Sunday.

Okay, but first, I'm going to sleep in.

Starting...soon.

Sparrow and Rene and I went out for Mexican food tonight after work. Ohh, it was a nice time. We had good margaritas, good company, good conversation, and I ate way too many chips (because there was also really good salsa). The food was, as is typical for Mexican in the Triangle, just adequate. The chips did me in, though. So I'm working on digesting a little before I bed down for the night...so worth it, though. There are few things I enjoy more than a meal with good friends.

Sparrow is...are you ready for it? Going to the Inauguration. I KNOW!! I'm both completely jealous and super excited that she's going (so freakin' cool!). I have a few other friends from med school and college that are going to be there, too. Such a moment in history, you know what I mean? Wow. And I luck out because Little Maxine is going to come hang with us while her mom's in Washington. Good times.

Doggedly funny

I got the following text message from Sparrow (who's watching the Mags while I'm on call):

Maggie looks so chic in the buff! And appears so much smaller! Maxine was confused, but sniffed her entire body - just to make sure the inside hadn't changed, too.

Cracks. Me. Up.

Preparations

So I'm post call. I left the hospital around 11:30, came home, picked up the girls, ran some errands together (Maxine was excited about the bank). Then we came home, ate some lunch, and napped for a while. I dragged my sorry ass out of bed around 4 and made it over to A Southern Season, who was having a lovely after Christmas sale, made a panicked trip to Wal-Mart because I decided I didn't like the suitcases I had, and then came home and packed.

It would appear I have a stowaway....

Sadly, I don't think they'd let me take her in my carry on, either.

"What?"

Merry Christmas to all!

So it's Christmas in North Carolina.

We've had a pretty uneventful day so far. I went to my aunt and uncle's last night for their traditional Christmas Eve homemade ravioli, which, mmm, mmm, mmm. So good! And we had such a good time. My cousin and I were coasting towards our traditional Trivial Pursuit victory, but my other cousin and her husband rallied late and overtook us. It was a good night, though. Good wine, good food, good company. I'm leaving in about ten minutes to go back for dinner tonight. We're confident we'll be triumphant at Christmas Trivia tonight.

So our day here at Chez Kate...Little Maxine is here, of course, while Sparrow is home visiting her family (Mags is going to hang with them next week when I'm in Chicago). The girls and I slept in, and then we made cinnamon rolls from a little tiny tube.

The girls had a little standoff over their food as well. Maggie stood around for a good ten minutes, clearly not wanting to finish her breakfast, but not wanting Little Maxine to eat it, either.

Maxine, meanwhile, stood at the ready. Finally, Maggie gave up, and just laid down near the food dish...

This, by the way, was what all the fuss was over...

We got it figured out eventually. And they we mostly napped (I never got any post-call sleep yesterday) and ignored the housework (oh, that my house would magically be neat and organized when I get back from Chicago! Oh, well...). We did a little laundry, I did some dishes, I answered an email from one of my patients who's having an awful Christmas, but mostly I stalled on the internet and we watched A Christmas Story (over and over and over on TBS) and I spent a good deal of time addressing Maxine's inability to make a decision about if she wanted to be on or off the bed (it's about two inches too high for her to jump up by herself). And Maggie tolerated my need to take festive holiday photos.

I had to bribe the girls with Jumbones to get this picture. And take away the hat. And they STILL wouldn't sit together.

Merry Christmas, everybody. Or whatever holiday it is that you celebrate. May it be a happy one.

Blech.

So, Little Maxine is visiting while Sparrow is home for the holiday.

I guess, at some point today, she liberated a bag of Candy Cane Hershey Kisses off the table (where they're generally safe from Maggie, so I didn't even think about it) and ate them all. When I got home there were red and white foil wrappers all over the floor, and she'd barfed all over the couch. So I cleaned up the couch, called the vet (who said no problem because no actual chocolate in them) and put her up on my bed and was snuggling her because she clearly did NOT feel well, and all of a sudden she picks her head up and yaks all over the bed spread. I have never in all my days seen that much vomit come out of someone so small...my word.

But it helped. She seems to be feeling better. And Mags let her take over the queen's throne.

::sigh:: They're so cute..luckily...

I think the comforter is a lost cause. I tried to wash it three times, it's still covered in puke. I'm oddly sad about losing a ten year old comforter that I've had to stitch up three or four times and is all ragged and sad. Wonder what that's about...

Everybody keep your fingers crossed. I'm on call tomorrow, and am still terrified they're going to try to make a break for it again. Except...I think I've come to the conclusion that I might have had the order of things backwards during their last jailbreak. I think it may well have started with Maggie going over the wall - you know, after the cat or some such thing - and not being able to get back over, so Maxine dug her way out, and then they went on their grand adventure to Sparrow's house. Who knows, really, but the hole is blocked off, and the air conditioner Maggie used to jump over the fence is blocked off, and so...we'll, here's hoping, is all I'm sayin'...

Lazy Sunday

I keep forgetting it isn't actually Sunday....and I still have two whole days off! I think every weekend should be a four day weekend...

Maybe I don't, actually. Because even though it was only three days long, this work week stunk for almost everyone I know.

Today I did next to nothing, which is very different from what I had planned, which was far from nothing. I slept until noon, then finally got out of bed at 1 (well, I was postcall yesterday, and had only slept two hours on Wednesday night, and then was up all day yesterday, and let's face it, I haven't slept well all week...). Maggie and I went to the Petsmart, went for some dog food and a new retractable leash (the old one died. I mean, I've only had it for five years...), and a PediPaws. I think this may be in the same league as the Furminator, y'all. It's a little rotating drum of sandpaper and so it files your dog's nails down, rather than cutting them. Maggie actually tolerated it really well, and she NEVER lets me cut her nails, so they're always like a mile and a half long and she keeps going clickity-clickity-clickity on the wood floors.

We also got a few "wow am I tired oh look isn't that cute!!" purchases....

One was a puppy Kong. Maggie's never been a fan of the Kong, but so many of our friends' dogs swear by them, that I keep trying. And Maggie's been doing some weird things lately when I'm gone, digging through the trash, chewing up non-food things, that kind of stuff, which tells me that she might be getting a little anxious and/or bored. And we already know how guilty I feel leaving her at home at all, much less as much as I do these days. So we're looking at Kongs in the store today, and they have new ones for puppies that have teething rubber. Which, I've long thought that the regular Kongs hurt her teeth, so, I thought, hmm...let me tell you, she loved it. I threw some treats in there, she spent hours playing with that thing. We may have success after all...

We also got...I'm such a bad owner....matching little reindeer coats for her and Little Maxine. With antlers that light up. Ohmigosh if it isn't the cutest thing ever.

We went over to Sparrow's for dinner tonight, and oh, look at the cuteness...



I'm hoping for Christmas card cuteness before the month is out, but neither of them was exactly thrilled with the outfits, so, we didn't quite get the photo op I was hoping for. But, we'll keep trying.

Meanwhile, Little Maxine got back at Maggie for stealing her bed on election night...

Oh, the cuteness...

Anyway. That's about the extent of my productivity today.

I stopped at the Panera on the way home from Petsmart for soup (they were out of bread bowls, I was sad), and then did a whole lot of nothing until we went to Sparrow's. Well, that's not true. Look what I started:


It's two toes. At the same time. On one big ol' Addi Lace. And so far I haven't even knitted them together once. The yarn is this Koigu KPPPM that Jenn sent me for surviving my intern year. Mmm, it's yummy. And I really like the way it's knitting up. I just have to pick a stitch for it - I've gotten really bored with plain old stockinette socks, but, I can't do anything too complicated if I'm going to knit in lecture, which is really my prime knitting time all week...

The Lion Tamer

Two ex-wives away from being a country song.

Seriously. Here's my day...

10:30am - wake up, for real, after waking up every 90 minutes to cough self into a fit of gagging, hacking, kak-kak-kak-ness, and probably a few times in between.

10:31 - wonder what the heck was wrong with my head last night, because entire night was categorized by epic, disorganized, really bizarre dreams. When I woke up, I'd been dreaming about (I'm so not kidding) flesh-eating bacteria that wrote boy-band lyrics through these kids in a cult that burned down my church (the cult, not the kids specifically). The kids were coming to my clinic, which seemed to be some sort of OB-Psych-ER hybrid, and one of them was living with me. Possibly in the hospital. Along with four dogs from the cult. I could not make this up if I tried.

10:33 - wonder what Freud would say.

10:35 - shower. Sometimes known as steam cleaning. This allows for penetration of the thick layer of concrete-like goo firmly sealing my eyelids shut and a small amount of air to pass through my sinuses for maybe 45 seconds, until they clog up again.

11:00 - execute decision that, while I can still see and possible even breathe a little, I'm going to go to Starbucks and the grocery. And then play it from there...

11:02 - turn key in ignition. Car makes odd clicking sound that is remarkably similar to above-mentioned kak-kak-kak-ing.

11:03 - wonder if I should call Sparrow for a jump. Notice that Juan's truck is parked in the driveway; wonder how to say "jump start" in Spanish.

11:23 - note that when I let the key rest, the radio, blowers, and interior lights come on. Note the presence of 3/4 tank of gas. Decide it can't possibly be the battery.

11:24 - call my dad (because, really, what do you do in these situations, except call your dad who is 850 miles away and say, "No, here, listen to this," and hold up the phone while you try to turn the engine over). Dad says it's probably the battery. Make him listen to the engine again and tell him it isn't the battery, because the lights work (will later tell him that dying batteries make a progressively slowing "ruh-ruh-ruh" sound, not a "click-click-click" sound). Become frustrated that my father - who's an engineer, not a mechanic - can't diagnose and/or fix the problem over the phone, from 850 miles away.

11:27 - Call AAA.

11:28 - sit down on the ladder that we've lain behind the gate of the fence because Little Maxine was trying to dig out there. Pet Maggie, who's outside all like, "what's wrong with the big noisy silver thing?"

11:34 - finally get through to AAA. Because circumvented the "if you aren't in the state of Illinois, press 2", and called the Illinois operator. She is very helpful. She transfers me to the NC operator, who, not so much helpful. She asks what service I need, and I say, probably a tow, because the woman in IL said I'm probably going to need a tow. She yells at me when I don't know where I want it towed (how is "wherever's closest" not an answer?). Does not understand how the name of the cross street is "like the holiday" (i.e., "it's the corner of Main and Christmas." "Christmas with a K or a C?" "C. You know, like the holiday." "What??" "The holiday. In December." "Ma'am, is that with a K or a C?"). Cannot comprehend how I don't yet want to commit to wanting a rental car until I find out what's wrong with mine. Get very annoyed, which is not helped by

11:34:30 - Maggie decides to make a break for it (chase me! It'll be fun! You'll feel better! Wheee! It's an adventure!!).

11:46 - devil dogs across the street scare Maggie. She darts back to hide behind me. I smack her on the tucas (so very hard I'm not sure she knew it was a smack) and stick her back in the house.

11:48 - start making eggs, because, obviously not going to get breakfast at Starbucks. Call parents to whine report in.

12:03 pm - yell at poor unsuspecting mother when she suggests I call someone local for advice on where to tow my car. Because I can't yell at the AAA lady, she's not required to love me. And I'm sick, and stuck, and my dog ran away, and my car died, and I forgot to put cheese on my eggs. And I woke up dreaming about pop-song-composing flesh-eating bacteria.

12:06 - tow guy comes. Tells me he can't service my car through AAA because my tags are expired.

12:07 - remind myself not to cry in front of the tow guy.

12:07:15 - tow guy says, "Well, let me see what's wrong with it first..."

12:07:45 - tow guy turns key in ignition. Car goes, "click click click".

12:09 - tow guy hooks this thing called a "power pak" up to my battery.

12:09:10 - car starts right up.

12:09:11 - resist urge to hug the tow guy.

12:10 - tow guy suggests it's time for a new battery. Ask tow guy where good place is to get battery. Tow guy suggests his service station.

12:15 - lock house, lock dog in crate, head to Starbucks with stated intention of charging alternator.

12:22 - make jubilant phone call to parents. Give dad satisfaction of being right, over the phone, 850 miles away. Apologize to mom.

12:40 - tea. Scone. Better.

1:05 - pull in to tow guy's service station. Walk in and announce I need a battery. Get blank looks from guys behind the desk. Weird but seemingly nice black guy who always offers to help my inflate my tires despite me crouched in front of the tire with the air hose in one hand and a tire gauge in the other and obviously knowing how to inflate my own tires (turns out I go to tow guy's service station a lot) pulls out $7000 voltmeter (I told him they were like $12 at Radio Shack). Confirms that I need a new battery.

After that, my day got better. I sat in the service station for a while, wishing I'd brought my knitting, sending long rambling texts to Claudia and watching this thing on MTV about the top ten over-the-top Sweet 16 parties of the rich and overprivileged. Which I then spent a good deal of time discussing with the mechanics. Tow guy showed up with subs from Jersey Mike's (a local chain, which is allegedly very good) and offered me part of his sandwich. Twice (I love North Carolina...). They hooked me up with a shiny new battery and a new little bulb for my license plate light (which is what actually got me pulled over the other night, and needs to be fixed anyway before I can pass my state inspection). I then motored over to Whole Foods, where I spent a ridiculous amount of money on...well, what, I'm not certain. I got small little tokens of affection for Sparrow, JD, and Cleo for their help in not making me take yesterday's call (I also bought a little bundle of flowers for JD's wife, whose tolerance was key to this operation). I got wine and chocolate to take to my aunt and uncle's for Thanksgiving (I'm also charged with getting the crescent rolls that come in a tube). I got a lot of random other things, which, frankly...I'm no longer allowed to shop post-call (except I still do), and so now I'm not allowed to shop when I'm sick...maybe I should just never be allowed to shop again...

After that I ran some things over to my office, and then stopped by Sparrow's and had a very nice cup of tea. She also gave me some leftover rock star garlic chicken that Rene had left for me, because she also rocks (she called earlier and was like, hey, I'm stopping by with leftover chicken, because I know you don't want to cook...I, unfortunately, was in search of a battery...) Little Maxine was all snuggled up parrot-style on my shoulder, so Sparrow was like, do you want to take her home? I'm going to be out all evening, I can pick her up on the way home...so now there's a teeny-weeny Maxine-y (Maxinie?) sitting at my feet and whimpering to be played with. Maggie's tossing around her stuffed alligator in the living room.

Is it weird that I can identify dog toys by their squeak at this point?

I'm feeling a little better today. Don't seem to have a fever, or at least much of one. I'm still doubting my ability to get a good night's sleep tonight, but, we'll see. And then...it's funny, I've been all stressed out about next week, right, because my Monday and Tuesday clinics are just packed to the gill....except...um...then that's it. If I wasn't on call Wednesday night (and hadn't thus scheduled a patient for the afternoon), I'd pretty much have a five day weekend, because I don't typically see patients on Wednesdays, and our lectures are cancelled. Uh, I think I'll be fine.

Guess I'd better go throw an alligator, snuggle the little one, and think about dinner....

Gratuitous Cuteness

So I've now spent a good deal of time arguing with Sparrow over whether or not she's going to take part of my call tomorrow. Because she's the only one available. And she was on call last night. Which...because I'm a stubborn masochist and Sparrow just rocks, I'm betting you can guess how this conversation has gone...

Me: I'm fine!

Sparrow: No, you're not!

Me: Of course I am.

Sparrow: You're being ridiculous.

Me: Probably.

Sparrow: Let me do it!

Me: No!

Sparrow: Yes!

Me: I'm fine!

(repeat)

She's awesome. She and Cleo spent a lot of time today trying to find someone to cover for me. In the end, I just don't think it's worth the drama (you know, I won't think it's worth the drama until I end up with pneumonia...). And I'm on with Dr. Itchy tomorrow, as my intern (it's a long story how he gave himself that pseudonym), who is also fabulous. I'm sure it'll be fine. I'm sure I'll be fine. And Maggie and Little Maxine will have a good time over at Sparrow's.

I actually have a lot-ish to say, including my worthless trip to the doctor today (Larry wasn't in the office, so I saw Kelly, another attending, who didn't remember me despite the fact that I worked with her for two months straight less than a year ago. She asked me, "do you work around sick people?" ::sigh::), but I really need to go to bed. So instead, I give you gratuitous adorable pictures of the pooches.

Little Maxine came in all muddy this morning, so I scooped her up in this big towel, and she was all like, "ahhhh...." So I had to take pictures. The ones of Maggie in her chair are apparently her attempt at claiming the Cutest Puppy Ever title.

("Hey, everybody!")







("Ha! Maggie's funny!")

This has been most of what I've seen of Mags over the past few days. She's been dutifully stationed at the foot of my bed.



So sweet.

Such good girls...

Ugh.

I'm sick. Also tired. Fortunately, I have two fantastic if fuzzy nurses to take care of me (Sparrow's on call, so Little Maxine's over).

It was sweet tonight...I couldn't get the dogs to stop licking me. Both were over-the-top cuddly. And I was like, okay, you two! But they kept being all persistent, and finally...it occurred to me that I was really hot.

Smokin', baby! Right?

No, really, my temp had gone up two degrees. To 104.

So I popped 800mg of motrin, sent my classmates an email looking for someone to cover my call on Saturday, and called all my patients to cancel tomorrow's appointments.

Everyone calmed down after that. In fact...we ordered Indian food for dinner. I was lying on my bed, Little Maxine snuggled up beside me, Maggie napping in her chair...and I heard this tapping sound. The delivery guy? I looked at the dogs...no. They were still sound asleep. Must've been something else. Until I heard it again a minute or so later. That was a definite knock. Still, the girls did nothing until I actually got up and started towards the door. Then suddenly they thought it was the invasion at Normandy. The driver was really amused, fortunately.

Goofy dogs. It's fortunate for them they're both adorable and sweet and cuddly.

I think I may have to get a tiny little nurses' hat for Little Maxine....

I...um...oy.

My Facebook status reads, currently:

Kate is concomitantly over-caffeinated and deliriously tired.

I'm so bloody tired right now. And a little bedraggled. Last night was not awful, and Mike was on night float and took good care of me overnight (he didn't even make me see anybody after 1am. I wandered in to the workroom sometime around 3:30, and he was sitting at the computer, piles of paper surrounding him on the floor, each referencing a patient that somebody or another wanted to send us. I was like, "You need help?" He sort of looks around, looks back at me, and says, "Nope." Who am I to argue? I went back to bed. Well, I went back to my office. I dictated two clinic notes, checked my email, putzed and fussed, and then finally went to sleep around 5. I actually slept pretty darn well from 5-8, but from 1:30-3:30, I tossed and turned in this restless, shallow, inexplicably anxious sort of sleep, which I find is almost worse than just staying up.

There's cable in the intern lounge now. And a recliner. I should've just gone in there and dozed...

Sparrow's always reminding me that it's perfectly reasonable to be useless on your post-call day. Maybe if I would just quit fussing and lay in bed and watch House on these days, I wouldn't end up doing that on the weekends. But, nooo, I'm always trying to be "productive." Pah.

(Sparrow, by the way, so totally rocks. It was, to quote Peng, "ass-bitingly cold" this morning. So Sparrow calls me up and is like, I don't have to be at work until 10, and it's way too cold for you to walk, do you want me to give you a ride home? I almost cried. She also picked up dinner for us last night - which, apparently, Little Maxine got to come along for the trip, and thought the food was for her, and couldn't understand why Sparrow wouldn't let her eat it. Tyler - who met her downstairs - was very amused by Little Maxine. They - Maxine and Sparrow - also took good care of Ms. Mags overnight. Sparrow's so totally my hero today.)

I caught a little nap today. I tried to read. I saw my shrink and waxed philosophic about work for an hour. And I joined the gym. I liked the gym. They were very friendly. I have my complementary assessment and workout (read: sales pitch) with this large, bald, black wall of muscle named Joe on Friday night (I'm on call Saturday. Here's hoping I can still walk). There were old people working out (apparently they have three members over 90) and I got high-fived by the staff a lot. I also got a wicked (WICKED) deal because the manager was in a good mood and thought I was cute.

(One thing I've noticed about North Carolina, both today at the gym and in the context of various people I've met thusfar, is that personal trainers tend to be large black walls of muscle. Who tend to think ass-ful white girls are hot. A girl could get used to that.)

So I sign all the papers and pay - cash, since I don't want to be paying credit card interest on it and specifically took this out of my bonus money. But they had to ask the manager if they accepted cash for membership payments. I thought that was hysterical - and as she's handing me my change she says, "oh, by the way, about our cancellation policy..." And it took a good deal of restraint in my shriveled-up post-call brain to keep from laughing at her and saying, "I want to quit the gym!"

(Which, if you missed the reference, is not actually the case. Rather, it reiterates that there is a Friends analogy for every situation in life. Exhibit A:

)

So then I went to Starbucks and pretended to read for a while, and then I went to class. My first class was good, as it always is, but the second...I'm discovering I don't especially enjoy it, although I find the material interesting. And tonight, right, we get to talking about attachment, and this concept, which I think is huge giganamous gargantuan - the infantile attachment bond determines what "safety" feels like for a given individual. So if you're a baby surrounded by chaos, or inconsistent reinforcement, or a detached and unresponsive parent, this becomes your view of "normal" and "safe."

It's a simple, very reasonable statement. But the implications of that are just HUUUUUUGE.

I've really been pondering that hard. What I found disheartening, though, is that my leader/teacher/whatever I'm supposed to call him eventually pointed out that this gets strongly internalized and likely doesn't change, you know, ever.

Which, well, made me want to curl up in a corner and rock a little. Because if that's true (which, it is, to a degree, I think, but that degree, and the factors that modulate it, are important), then what I do is futile. Which is daunting, particularly for someone who wants to work with people repeatedly traumatized at an early age.

Anyhow....I have to be slept and dressed and showered and in my supervisor's office in 10 hours to learn how to practice my futile craft better, so I guess I'd better get to bed....

Wow.

Am I tired.

Here's the short version.

Mags went over the wall last night, but only made it as far as Sparrow's old house next door. I think she may very literally have hopped over the fence where it's shorter, by the air conditioner, and went over to look for Little Maxine (who's been staying overnight with us this week while Sparrow's on night float, but yesterday she stayed with Rene). But she came running right back as soon as I opened the front door to see why she hadn't come back in the dog door.

Crazy mutt. It's a good thing I dye my hair, or she'd be giving me grays.

Today I drove to the coast. Which...may actually have some benefits. Even if it is 300 miles roundtrip. I listened to the first part of the audiobook I downloaded last week, Barack Obama's Dreams of my Father, read by the author. Wow. I was really sad I'd only managed to burn an hour of it to CD before I left. He's only really discussed his life up to age 8 or 9 so far, but the living in the Spice Islands for a good part of his childhood already tops Gov. "I can see Russia from my house." And it's so far just a good story, with some interesting points. Looking forward to the rest of it.

I spent my day out with the Vocational Rehab counselor. We ran all over town and hunted down some people. We had a nice lunch at this Greek-ish place by the river. I gave one lady her Haldol shot. A good time was had by all.

Well, Sparrow just dropped off the little one, and it's been a long ass day. I think we're going to have some ice cream (well, that might just be me) and watch a little TV and fall asleep in the middle of the same episode of House I've been trying to watch for the past three nights...