Saturday, February 08, 2014

Happy 2014

I truly have no idea why it's been well over a year since I've blogged. So much has happened. Maybe it's the fact that SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED. I think it's felt overwhelming to try to detail what's been going on in my life.

I won't try to give you the full list, because there just isn't enough room on the server. But my dad died in January of last year. I bought a new car just before that. That car was totalled a couple of weeks ago (along with the integrity of my left eighth-or-so rib), and I now have a Subaru, which is what I intended to buy in the first place. I traded the underpowered Honda in for a freaking awesome Harley-Davidson. I dropped that bike, but fortunately she was fixable. I fell tremendously in love, which has turned out to be quite complicated and problematic. I was deeply and terribly hurt by a whole different man, who, well, we're working on repairing that, and making reasonable progress. I have a whole new motorcycle-related family, thanks to the somewhat impulsive purchase of the Harley. My biological family rallied a bit. I've acquired important new friends who feel like family. My Village is going strong. I have a new job...actually, that job turned into a different new job. The new job is not committing fraud like the old job, and this pleases me. Plus I like being a real ACTT doctor, it turns out. The private practice has been...oh, wait, I don't think you knew about the private practice. I joined a private practice as well and that's been in much flux, at my hand. I moved my mom into a different retirement community. I lost sixty pounds (well, 75, but I've gained some of it back over the past couple of months). Olivia is no longer a kitten but a full-grown and hilarious cat. Lucky tends to go by Lou these days (his middle name, of course), and is such a delight. He's by far my best snuggler. Maggie is still the Grande Dame of the house and will be TWELVE next month.

Strangely, as I reflect on this time of love and loss, of tremendous tumult and change and upheaval, it's the past two months that feel like they've been the hardest. I have no explanation for this, except that maybe I forgot how hard things were previously. And, I'm exhausted. But things are leveling out. I'm taking more time to focus on my own needs (which you know I can never identify). I truly feel like I can't see the issue even though it's there in front of me. Which is a weird and unpleasant feeling.

I'm currently writing this from a coffee shop at the beach, by the way. I had lunch with my old officemate earlier this week, who (perhaps inadvertently) suggested I needed to get the hell out of Dodge for a minute. I'd been saying that for months, but something about her suggesting it jarred me loose. So here I am, on my first solo vacation ever. I didn't even bring the dog. I have an oceanfront hotel room for the weekend and my laptop and my journal and my camera, and my phone (to keep me connected to the ones I love). I can't imagine what else I could need. Oh - coffee. Check. I'm hoping to get in some serious reflection and gain a little perspective on my life right now. Here's hoping.

Let's do this.


Angela said...

Best wishes on the reflection. Maybe the ocean will help with that.

Anonymous said...

Every morning for almost a year I greeted the sleeping cat under the Christmas tree waiting- - - - -

The wait is over and I hope like Snow White horizons will open up for 'better things for better living'

I congradulate you on those many live changing situations and send you pounds of coffee to continue those changes until - - - - -

Enjoy--take care--enjoy