Whipped

Seriously. What the hell?

So, I think I mentioned the other day that while I was home, my Greek aunts convinced me I needed to put a profile on this Greek dating site, right?

I don't think I'm cut out for this shit.

So, I admit, it's only been a week, but I've had two separate guys IM me and ask me to dominate them. I cannot figure this out.

The first one was, I'm guessing, classic reaction formation. His tagline was like, "If you voted for Obama, we're not compatible." On his profile, he was all bluster and rant about how Greeks were the best, Orthodoxy was the only religion, women were all "hippie sandal-wearing liberals." I didn't see his profile until after he'd messaged me asking me if I was "dominant." I was like, really dude? He sends me his phone number and was like, call me. No really, call me. I said, no. He's like, really, really. I want you to call. And I asked him, what makes you think I'm a dom? He says, "I can just tell."

Okayyyy.....that was the end of that.

The second guy started with "are you a psychiatrist?" and then proceeded to tell me he was recently suicidal. And couldn't afford a therapist, so maybe I could help? Mmm, no, sorry. Well, okay, that's cool. Blah blah blah (I don't know why I didn't just end the conversation right exactly then), and then he starts telling me it's love at first sight. I said, no, no it's not. We've been talking for three minutes. And he says he's looking to get married. And I was like, dude, calm down, you seem like a nice enough guy but you come on way too strong. He says, why? I really like you. I said, no you don't, you don't even know me.

And then he says...."I'm looking for a dominatrix. Can I serve you?"

I said, "No."

He says, "No, I mean after we're married."

...?

I was like, are you kidding?! No, no he was not.

And I finally was like, okay, dude, what in the world would make you think that? He says, your picture.

The picture I have posted? Is the same one I used for my residency interviews. No, it does not scream "dominatrix!"

So I told him I had to go, and wished him well, and closed the messenger. And he kept trying to initiate a chat, and I kept saying no. And he finally went away.

Seriously, y'all. Is this what's out there?

So many of my friends have met their spouses on online dating sites. I? Have met more losers with dead end jobs and fat girl fetishes than I care to count. The Greek site, Match.com...I met one guy who I was friendly with for a while, but he lived on the other coast, and turned out to have some issues that were just incompatible with mine. And when I was in NH? I was on both Match and eHarmony, because if nothing else, I was hoping to meet some people in the area, do some social branching out, etc. That was terrifying. There was a cafeteria worker in a sweater vest pestering me from VT for a while.

Maybe I should've become a nun...

Worn out

So it's just after midnight. I got home a little while ago. That? Was a fabulous wedding.

We (as a group) started the day with lunch at this rather nice little place in town. The 'maids, and Peng, and Peng's mom all went. And then we went to some little Asian nail place that was open today and had said they could accommodate us all. The 'maids got French manicures, Peng got sparkly silver nails. It was very relaxing, a nice time, and good fun.

Then we went back to the Presidential Suite (where Peng and Chef are staying, and Peng stayed there last night) and chilled for a while, and then the 'maids got all fussed up. One of the other 'maids did my hair, and it looked great. We got our dresses on, we got our Chuck Taylors laced up, we put on the wonderful handmade freshwater pearls that Peng gave us as attendants' gifts. And then we fussed around her, and primped, and fluffed, and straightened, and swirled, and then we tied her up into her dress. It was gorgeous. And then - they got married!

Peng looked amazing. The weather was absolutely perfect (the ceremony was out doors). The ceremony was lovely, and included a reading from Babylon 5, of all things (it was actually quite well stated). The other guests watched us from their balconies. There was a guy in a robe watching the wedding. It was hysterical. We went back and took sweet pictures, cute pictures, and silly pictures, including many pics of the shoes and one of the men holding Chef up, and one of US holding Chef up. The men were amused that we didn't seem to have nearly as much trouble as they did (Gomer would be proud).

The reception was awesome. Absolutely amazing food - which, I guess you can't expect anything different when the groom and half the groomsmen are chefs. We changed mine to the vegetarian option at the last minute (yesterday), and wow, I have to tell you, that was one of the best vegetarian meals I've ever had. And the desserts - incredible. The cake was almond cake with white buttercream filling and passionfruit icing. It was awesome. And then they had assortments of little tiny desserts as well, which were delightful.

And then, of course, there was the dancing. The music was great, the dance floor was a heck of a good time. We boogied down with Benny and Sparrow and Cleo, Ruthie and Mary and my new bridesmaid buddies, and Magical Corrina the All-Knowing and Magical Elise the Learning-It-All. I finally got a dance with Matthew at the end of the night (who was even more of a hoot at the bachelorette party yesterday, ps). Mary caught the bouquet, my groomsman caught the garter (which I knitted, and which turned out awesome, by the way).

So now, I'm exhausted, and my feet hurt, and I smell (a lot). But I really just think the whole night was just wonderful. It was a good, good time.

And big congratulations to PenguinShrink and Chef. I'm so honored you asked me to be a part of this. I love you guys!!

Friday Fragments, first edition

So, if you look hard enough in the blogosphere, you can find at least six themes for every day of the week. Barb recently introduced me to the idea of Friday Fragments, though, which I loved. It's basically a melange of randomness.

Much like my brain.

I can't say I plan to do every Friday like this (look at how Love Thursday goes most weeks...) but it's worth the old college try, right? So here goes....

***********************
I had the weirdest day today. Perhaps the highlight was that one of my patients announced their engagement to another patient they met at State Hospital last month. It's a match made on Axis II...

***********************
Little Maxine is staying with us for the weekend, which I think I mentioned yesterday. She really likes to sleep under my bed. She's just barely small enough to do it. I find this a little weird.

***********************
Here's a funny link.

***********************
My therapy kids (15 and 16) never cease to amaze me. I don't remember high school being so rough. I mean, I guess when I think about it hard enough, it probably was just as bad, but I don't remember having to deal with quite as much as they do on such a daily basis.

***********************
Never, never never, never never name your child Crystal. Or Destinee. They run a exponentially higher risk of ending up in the mental health system. It's a fact.

***********************
I often will fall asleep watching Law and Order:SVU. Somehow, it makes me feel safer... I met the Olivia Benson of our county one day at work. She was very nice, and I'm glad there are real people like that out there doing their job.

***********************
In related news, I'm already over the Michael Jackson thing, but it's been really interesting to watch the Facebook feed about all of this. Half of them are like, "I can't believe he's gone!" and the other half are "Good riddance, pedophile!" The man made some really classic music for my generation (my cousin and I used to play the "Thriller" album over and over in his room on this ridiculous brown tape recorder with gigantic buttons that was probably from, like, Fisher-Price or something). But he was a sick man and a lost soul and I think he appeared to be severely mentally ill. Which does not excuse what he probably did do to those children (and many others), but makes it somehow less malicious.

***********************
(Come to think of it, though, there WAS an SVU episode about him, without actually being about him....)

***********************
Next weekend, we're having Peng's bachelorette party. In the middle of the afternoon. On a Friday. But, that's okay, I like a challenge. So in the midst of planning this, I got recruited to be a Passion Party representative. I was like, um, I'm a doctor; my day job is more than enough, thanks. But where were you when I was selling Mary Kay in college?

***********************
I like this:

Answers

Oh. And in answer to some recent queries...

1. Carol - I bought yarn at the yarn store. Ha! No, seriously, I bought two colors of this merino/silk blend and a ball of Kidsilk Haze for projects which I will detail later. Maybe this weekend, maybe after Peng's wedding, but probably this weekend because they're not exactly secret, and only one is for her. I just need time to sit and write about it.

2. Maggie only gets to go to daycare when I'm on call, which means, sadly, that she only has one more little visit to daycare left (that's sad for her, not me). I mean, she'll stay there when I go home in July and December and when I go to Hawaii in October and any other times I might choose to leave town without her, but for the day to day, next Monday is it. However, we have a very nice dog walker who comes every day. He's an older, retired military guy and she adores him. He's really very fond of her, too. I like having him come, but I wish I had the funds to maybe put her in daycare one day a week, because I KNOW she loves hanging out with the other dogs. When I'm not post-call, though, I rarely make it home before 6pm when their pickup hours end (which is why the dog walker comes this year, because my days are looong). So maybe when I'm a Child Fellow, on the day I'm at State Hospital all day. We'll see.

3. I have not, I promise, forgotten about the prizes from the lyrics contest. I've just been working too much and moving (Julie moved, too) and now I can't remember where the post office is. Plus, Jenn, I have some finishing touches to put on something that's going in your box. But I need to send that stuff out, soon, because I'm thinking of doing the lyrics contest again. That was fun. But...patience. I promise it'll be worth the wait, and I'll be more expedient next time (that's a lie. I just moved the box of Barb's stuff I was going to mail to her for Christmas. Which is lucky, because we had to add something for the puppy). Hopefully within the next couple of weeks. (Julie, you need to Facebook me your new mailing address!)

4. I had a really, really long day. So long, in fact, that I just typed "That was fun. But...patients." And then looked at it for a good twenty seconds thinking, no...that looks wrong... So I'm going to bed. Oh, but not before I add...

5. Anonymous - NO PANTS!!

One-day weekend

Tomorrow? Is my very very last weekend call EVER. Which - thank GOD, because I hate weekend call, and tomorrow looks crazy busy.

But, nonetheless, I'm on tomorrow, so of course I had to try and cram a whole weekend into half the time. I slept in (sort of...I didn't actually sleep that late, but I refused to get out of bed). Gomer kicked my ass. A lot. There were wind sprints involved (Or as I like to think of them, "wheeze sprints." I had to go get my inhaler...argh) and throwing of 15lb medicine balls. And then I was going to do more time on the treadmill, but, damn, I was just finished. So I did a five minute cooldown and then took my funky, sweaty self over to the Whole Paycheck, which entailed buying a zillion pounds of fruit (I was hungry and had no oxygen going to my brain...), two bottles of this Syrah that I like (on sale. Much better price), and standing in the frozen food section for a good long while trying to remember what I was supposed to buy (see above re: lack of sugar/oxygen). I drove home, hung out with Maggie, showered, napped a little, and then had a nice night out with Peng - makeup fussing (wedding is in FOUR WEEKS. Ack! Where's my dress?!), then wine tasting (I acquired a nice Riesling) and dinner (not awe-inspiring, but decent). And then we went back to her apartment and she fed me homemade mint-chocolate chip ice cream, which Chef made with fresh mint that they had grown in their kitchen window. Seriously awesome. Plus, we're making headway on having a plan for the bachelorette party/wedding weekend festivities. So, really, rah.

But, looking at the consult list I have to cover tomorrow, I'd better get to bed. I don't need to be in until about half an hour later than I usually do (call starts at 8:30), but I have to drop Mags off at the spa first. She's excited. I think I'm going to have them give her a pedicure while she's there. I don't think she's very excited about that...

Last weekend call EVER folks. That? That's definitely exciting.