Goodness

So I saw Olga today. She has the breathing tube out and is doing great. She looks awesome. We spent like two hours catching up and chatting - she's definitely back to her old self. Which is just so great.

She reminded me that only 0.3% of adults who go on ECMO (the lung bypass she was on) ever get off. It's incredible. She's still got a long road ahead of her - adjusting to the amputation, and her other foot might need a skin graft - but she's just like, okay, so this is what I have to do.

I'm just so grateful she survived this.

We talked about her son, about coming back to work, about rebuilding the house. She's so forward thinking. Speaking as someone who gets caught up in the drama of the moment so often, it was nice to hear her talking about the future and having goals, etc.

It was such a nice visit. And it was something I needed so badly.

Love Thursday

Ten things I love (in no particular order)....

I love vacation.

I love good news from good friends.

I love some particular friends of mine who don't have such good news tonight.

I love iTunes and loud, good music.

I love that feeling I have when I leave the chiropractor and it feels like my body is actually aligned for a moment.

I love dinner at Shady Pines with my parents and their spunky, hilarious, kind friends.

I love that my parents have crafted a whole circle of friends at Shady Pines.

I love that I'm finally a redhead again.

I love that my trainer used the word "athletic" to describe my work at the gym today (bless his delusional little heart).

I love that I have the world's best dog and a furry houseguest who purrs (if only dogs could purr!).

Totally worth today's exhaustion

So I spent the weekend in Chicago.

Oh, did I not mention I was going to Chicago?

Yeah, that was rather on purpose. I was supposed to go over New Year's, right, and then that fell through. And I haven't seen my Chicago crew in...yikes, almost ten months. And of course, Robin's little guy is two and a half, Bei's two are four and a half and just over a year. They're all growing so fast. And then my friend of nearly three decades, Ali, is having a baby next month. So when New Year's fell apart, I thought Ali's baby shower seemed like the perfect excuse to fly in. I decided to surprise her, so we kept it quiet. I didn't even clue her husband or Bei in until this past week. And the weekend was a raving success.

We actually arranged it so that I surprised her Saturday night, instead of at the actual shower on Sunday. She was definitely surprised, it was so good to see everyone. We had an awesome weekend. Claudia picked me up from the airport Saturday morning, we had coffee and chatted, and then had lunch at my favorite Greek restaurant. From there we headed to Robin's, where we all met up and watched (well, some of us "watched") football and ordered pizza. I made this drink that one of my Villagers taught me, which was a hit. We talked, and laughed, and ate real pizza (Chicago-style, baby!). We played with the kids. We were a little kiddish ourselves. It was great.

Sunday I saw my cousins from the North Side for breakfast, and then we had the shower, hosted by Claud and Jer's sisters. It was fun. The games were non-obnoxious, the cake was excellent, and the company was great. We met some neat new people.  And then the girls went back to Robin's for Wii Pictionary and Mexican food, which Jer was kind enough to deliver to us. And, you know, just being us girls. Monday Robin and little Luke and I went over to Bei's, and then hung out until it was time to take me to the airport.

Where I was for a very long time. My flight kept getting delayed. I was supposed to be on the ground and back to my house by about 8pm, originally; instead, I got home at almost 1am. I spent a lot of time wandering around O'Hare. Ate some more pizza. Bought a Cosmo. Discovered I've possibly outgrown Cosmo. Drank some iced tea. Nearly finished the hat I've been knitting (I needed DPNs, which I didn't have). Finally got on the plane, and we sat on the tarmac for almost an hour. It was a teeny-tiny plane, and I didn't fit especially well into the seat. So I was uncomfortable, and feeling giganamous, and the woman in the seat next to me was clearly irritated to be sitting next to such a fatty. However, she spent the whole flight flopping onto my side of the armrest and snoring like a chainsaw. I actually apologized to that bitch at the beginning of the flight for being so fat! Ridiculous. Whatever. We eventually got back to NC, and Bill came out in the middle of the damn night and picked me up, which was awesome of him.

But on the whole, the weekend was just so awesome. I miss my Chicago people. It was so nice to see everybody, and so nice to be back with the group I grew up with that knows me so well. And how amazing it is for me to have such a group of people who know me so well, who I came up with through the early part of my life, who are still so close to me. How great that I still count them among the most important supports that I have, even when I'm 850 miles away. And how blessed am I to have both groups here and in Chicago that are so comfortable and awesome.

Happy Merry

I can't believe I haven't blogged since Wednesday. Thursday was my last day of work for TEN DAYS. Did I mention that? Ten whole days! Thursday was a little rough, but the situation at work will be changing when I get back, in what I hope will be a positive way.

Friday was excellent. Coffee was languorous and led to breakfast at the little Greek place nearby. I came home, I wrapped presents. And then I went out on the bike. I went 13 whole miles!! On real roads! In traffic! I was excited. And I gassed up the bike for the first time! By myself! Without overflowing the tank!! It was excellent. But when I came home, my legs were pretty cold (note to self: I have GOT to get some motorcycle pants already!!). So I crawled under the blankets in my bed. And was still cold. And was lying there being cold when the doorbell rang. Who could it be, I wondered. When I opened the door, there was a box. And in the box?? A fleece blanket!! The second half of my unexpected Christmas gift from Claudia.

Talk about psychic. What great timing! It warmed me right up when combined with my comforter. So much so that I PTFO'd. Zzzzzz.....

I woke up in time to go to dinner at Shady Pines. My mom made cookies yesterday, so they were still a little warm when I got there (YES, for those of you who are interested, it's true. The chocolate chip cookies continue!! She just uses the mixer now). Dinner with their friends was lovely. Came home, more zzzs.

Christmas morning I could NOT get up. In spite of having something awesome to go to! I finally dragged myself out of bed for reals (this was, like, the third attempt) around 9 (Maggie was like, whew, finally!!). I went over to Larry's to wish his cats a Merry Christmas (and also fill their food dishes), and they were so excited to see me. Despite being mostly a dog person, I've actually come to adore his cats. The little calico is all kittenish and playful, and she spent quite a bit of time chasing my fingers and purring like a motorboat. The black cat, who is long haired and soft and just gorgeous but who also sheds like a fiend, had previously been apprehensive of me and my smells-like-a-big-dog self. He appears to have gotten over this. He is all love and snuggles and even let me pick him up today.

I left them and went to Richard and Nellie's house. Since the coffee shop is closed on Christmas, they had us all over for coffee. Not to mention cinnamon rolls, eggs, and hash browns. Richard, of course, is Jen's ex-husband. Who lives next door to Jen's mom. And they still hang out with Jen and Bill.  It's all very absurd and of course they get along beautifully. It's a nice lesson in how to be an ex, frankly. Anywho, it was such a wonderful time. Kim and Quinn came by, Garth and Ginny, several other friends, and one of my favorite Villagers who is going to school up north and I don't get to see him nearly enough. Oh, my heavens, it was such a lovely time. Oh, and there was this cocoa...Richard's secret recipe....it was like drinking a Hershey bar, but better. Wow, so good.

I left there, picked up Maggie, and we went to Shady Pines. We opened presents, kibbitzed a bit, and then shared a Christmas meal with two of my parents' friends. Which was also lovely. The staff was great, the food was good, and some random staff member (I think he's a maintenance guy, actually) played Christmas carols on the new Steinway that was just donated to SP by the local Maggiano's, of all places. I hung out with the folks for another three or four hours, catching up on gossip and talking about the relocation and our life as it is now. My uncle called. My dad napped. Maggie intermittently demonstrated her new knowledge of "gimme your paw." It was really wonderful.

I came home from there via the cats (Mags, much to her disappointment, stayed in the car) and then decided I was going to put an hour into cleaning the house. I made it about 45 minutes, but decided I'd done enough to go over to Garth and Sherry's. Where we were again joined by Ginny, Jen, and Bill. Bill immediately peeled off to go play Xbox with their 14 year old son, and the rest of us drank wine and ate chocolate truffles and told stories. It was the perfect cap to a wonderful day.

The only thing that would've made it better would have been having all of our Chicago and Ohio friends and family nearby, and everyone else who is dear to us. Merry Christmas, y'all!!

Thanks

Wait, has it really been since Wednesday that I've posted anything? Is that sentence even English?

Last week was, as you can probably guess, difficult. For a lot of different reasons. But fortunately, the weekend was awesome.

You know my circle of friends that's centered around the coffee shop refers to itself as the Village. Yesterday was the annual Village Thanksgiving celebration. It's a standing tradition, that's been going on for a number of years now from what I gather, but this was obviously my first. And it was wonderful.

It's a potluck, so I spent the afternoon baking cornbread. LOTs of cornbread. Regular, pumpkin, and pumpkin pecan. Because when I bring a side dish, I bring the heck out of it, apparently. There were some mishaps, but I ended up with a large amount of a passable product (actually, the pumpkin was reeeeally good). I picked up Larry (since he lives a stone's throw from me) and his casserole, and off we went to the north end of town. There were probably 25 or 30 of us, and enough food for a small nation. Turkey, dressing, beans of many kinds, scratch-made cranberry sauce and mashed potatoes, some sort of broccoli soup, brussel sprouts, on and on and on. And the desserts!! One friend in particular made the most a-maz-ing cheesecake I think I've ever had. Garth and family came with a fabulous apple tart. Misty made rockin' apple pie. Oh, my gosh, it was such a spread. And the evening concluded with ten or so of us sitting around the fire pit toasting marshmallows and laughing a lot. At one point we ran out of storebought firewood, so our hostess sent her husband into the woods behind the house for more. We set a good dozen marshmallows on fire and I stole sips of Larry's whiskey and two friends melted parts of their shoes on the fire pit. And my sides were a little sore by the end of the evening from laughing so hard.

We debriefed on the way home and discussed how I was a little tense going into the evening. I'm new to the collective, some of whom have known each other for quite some time, and I always worry a little about how I'll be received. But invariably I end up feeling welcome and being reminded how grateful I am to belong to the group.

And then, today, after coffee and breakfast with our inner circle, Larry and Garth and I went bike shopping again. Garth was a good addition to the entourage and is by far the most mechanically minded and knowledgeable of any of us. Larry has been incredibly tolerant of me dragging him all over North Carolina while I try to make up my mind about what sort of bike I want. Both of them have been very patient and reassuring and, being very proficient and experienced riders, a wealth of wisdom. We made some real progress on the motorcycle front, today, I think, even if I didn't actually come home with a bike. But I was driving back from Southeastern Nowhere, NC this afternoon, with Garth in my back seat fiddling on his iPhone and Larry next to me humming some Aerosmith song that had been playing at the Harley dealership, and I couldn't help but smile as we headed into the lengthening shadows of an afternoon well spent.

I'm so grateful to be continually collecting good people in my life.

I have no idea what this has to do with birthdays...

....but it came up when I ran "birthday" through a Google Image search. And I liked it.

Happy birthday to me.

It was such a good day. Good coffee time this morning, good therapy session, then I went and bought a motorcycle helmet (I'm registered for the course. I'm acquiring gear. I guess this is actually happening!). There were cupcakes at our test (inservice exam part two). Cleo and Olga and I went for mani/pedis. And then a whole bunch of my friends came out for dinner - including friends from two different social circles. Who blended really well. AND there was (almost authentic) Chicago deep dish pizza - broccoli, peppers, and feta, my very favorite from the place we had dinner.

Plus, like, everybody in the world (well, in my world) who wasn't actually here texted, called, or left me a Facebook message.

I love my people.

Sated

Psychiatry Book Club tonight. Had a WONDERFUL time. Did lots of arguing with Scott. Pulled Sonia into it. Great contributions from the underclass residents. It was very much a success. Also? There was good Indian food involved. Can't go wrong there, unless their buffet is both expensive and expansive and you all end up eating too much and have to drive home with your (new, stiff) jeans unbuttoned.

Just sayin'.

But now it's 11pm and I'm a sleepy Kate...

It may just be a matter of time, really....

...until I buy a donorcycle.

Relax, not this weekend. But I've been thinking about it for about ten years, and now I've known people who've ridden that long, and also now that I have a lot more bikers in my social group, I have a better appreciation for the benefits of safe riding techniques, good gear, etc, etc. So....I'm still thinking about it.

The weather was beauuuuuuutiful in NC today. Cool, clear, gorgeous fall day. Garth and Larry had been planning a ride today, and I half-jokingly invited myself along. Until they both were like, "Um, yeah, why don't you come with us?"

So, I did.

They warned me it was going to be long. I said, okay. They warned me it was likely to be fast at times. I said, great. We devised a plan for how to find me if I got lost. They suited up, I opened the sunroof and rolled down all the windows. And off we went.

We had a hell of a good time.

The drive was absolutely gorgeous. I'm hoping we can do that again in a couple of weeks when the fall colors have really developed (I may try to con my way onto the back of someone's bike for that, actually, but the Jeep really was excellent). The roads were a little twisty and the countryside was quaint and it was very pleasant.

We ended up at this lake, first driving across the dam that held the lake in. It was incredible. The view was absolutely spectacular. We stopped for a while to admire the view, and in the midst of that whole sitting out looking at the lake thing, I commented, "I didn't even know we had a dam."

Garth said, "Virginia has a dam."

Hmm, well, good for Virginia, I thought, kind of wondering what that had to do with anything. We enjoyed the scenery for a bit longer and then saddled back up, and were off again until we got lost. This ultimately entailed pulling off at a visitor's center (that was closed, but the boys TOTALLY got credit for stopping to ask directions) and fussing with my GPS, which Larry was messing around with and got somewhat discombobulated so I took it back and hit the "My Current Location" button. And made quite a discovery.

"SonofaBITCH!" It suddenly dawned on me. "We really ARE in Virginia!!"

They both looked at me like, um, yeah. Don't you remember the big "Welcome to Virginia" sign??

Totally missed the sign. Apparently saw the one next to it that said radar detectors were illegal, but missed the giant one announcing I was passing into a whole different state.

We made a pit stop shortly after that revelation as one of the bikes needed filling up and all three of us needed draining, so we stopped at this little gas 'n' go kind of place. So I walk into the little general store, and of course the first thing you see coming through the door was the display of ammunition, fireworks, and liquor. There was also a large tub full of minnows and fishing poles hanging from the ceiling. It was...quite an experience.

This led to more fun being poked at the city girl, of course...

But we made it back and the drive back was also just as lovely. We stopped at a local place for beers and a late lunch (since it was about 4pm by this point) and some good conversation.

I finally made it to the gym after that, came home, spent a really long time trying to comb the knots out of my hair from having the windows open in the car, and then made my way back to Jen and Bill's. Maggie got to come too, and she and Eddie had a wonderful time running around and exploring the backyard. Jen, Bill, Leigh, Garth, Garth's son, and I sat around the fire pit and enjoyed the crackling fire and the yummy, yummy s'mores, and a couple of other friends joined us later. Once again, good time, good company, good conversation. And, of course, chocolate.

One thing (of many) that I love about this circle of friends is that, you know, I see them every single morning. You'd think that, being in the different life situations, different occupations, and being from different backgrounds that we wouldn't have that much to say  to one another. But we can still do things like spend an entire day together and still look forward to seeing each other at the coffee shop in the morning.

It's good. It's really, really good.

Tired Thursday

I'm home. I'm exhausted. And I'm going to bed shortly.

I still hate funerals. But, in the spirit of Love Thursday (which I haven't done in a while, I know), here's ten things I loved about this trip:

1. Being surrounded by family. I forget sometimes how much I enjoy them.

2. The fact that we could put the things that have complicated our relationships aside to come together and support each other. It's a shame it sometimes takes a tragedy.

3. How Greeks take at least 30 minutes to say goodbye.

4. How my "little cousins" are growing into such good and thoughtful people.

5. Having a conversation about tutti-frutti naturopathic stuff with my cousin while sitting at her kitchen table eating chocolate covered espresso beans.

6. Feeling like at least some of my family has started thinking of me as an adult (even if, in that context, I don't always).

7. Time to think while driving through beautiful scenery.

8. Satellite radio.

9. How well my folks did. Also how well they did with Mags.

10. That I have awesome people back home who could hold down the fort and let me be gone for three days on a day's notice.

Weekend

I totally passed out when I got home last night. So why was I up at 5:45 this morning? (I'm going to try not to repeat that tonight...)

Yesterday was long. I spent the day wearing too many hats. My hats, Cleo's hat, it was just a lot. But the day ended well - I managed to get out for dinner last night with Chandra and her boyfriend, Sonia, and Scott (who, incidentally, is now completely hooked on the afore-mentioned fiction author. I might love that just a little bit). We went to this South American place in North Durham. The food was great, the company better. It was a nice ending to a crazy week. Seriously. How does a short work week feel so damn long?

Today was also excellent. Coffee until NOON (awesome). Played the Wii for a while. Unpacked a bit of my kitchen (I have dishes again. Although, still no silverware). And then I picked up my folks and we met my aunt, uncle, cousin, and future cousin-in-law for dinner at this Greek restaurant nearby. It was delightful. My cousin's fiancee is hilarious. He's a good addition to the family.

They're getting married in India at the end of the year. I'm trying to figure out a way to get there for the festivities, but they might be cost prohibitive. We'll see what creative accounting I can come up with...

I love weekends.

Happy 4th and whatnot

Back from Rene's wedding at the Biltmore in Asheville.

The wedding itself was a-ma-zing.

 The Estate is phenomenal.

She looked incredible, the scenery was breathtaking...

A good time was had by all. In fact, um, a few had a little too good of a time. Which led to some significant badness after the wedding.

But, in the end, I think all will be well. And fortunately, I have an appointment with my shrink tomorrow...what a night.

Bad moon waning

Looking back on my day...I may need to rethink my concept of "vacation day," but it was really productive.

I slept in until 7:30. Had a languorous time at coffee. Went back to the old place and cleared out that aforementioned closet. Went to hh gregg and got a new router, and - and! - my 30th birthday present. Yes, yes, I know I'm 31, almost 32, but when I turned 30 my parents had just bought their flat panel TV and wanted to buy me one, too. But, I was having a moment (I don't need that many TVs! TV must be rotting my brain!), and declined. I finally gave in, and found a cheap, off-brand, but nice one today (along with my router, which was on clearance. Woo-hoo!). I came home and hooked it up, and I'm in loooove.

Yeah, I've totally gotten over my hoity-toity moment of anti-TV-ness.

I unpacked a couple of boxes and rearranged the living room. I showered (I was stinky) and changed and then I took my mom to the oncologist, and he's pleased (me too). We picked up dinner and I hung out with them for a little while. And then my aunt and uncle came over to the new place and we got the washer/dryer hooked up, a bookcase moved, some pictures hung, and a couple of other things fixed. And then I started another load of laundry and moved the TV in my bedroom and then I FINALLY got the router working.

Whew.

I'm starting to feel like the bad juju of the old place is clearing. I've started reading books about feng shui (it ties in with my psychoanalytic bend towards energetics, as it turns out). I may yet be getting my groove back.

And it's about damn time.

Tomorrow

Eight years ago today, my sweet, brilliant, awesome little Goddaughter was born.

Eight years ago tomorrow, I got to meet her.

Eight years ago tomrrow, she was a tiny peanut of a thing, or at least that's the way she looked sitting on her six-foot-five Chicago cop father's shoulder.

(Eight years ago last week, she looked to be about the size of a linebacker inside her tiny-torsoed, five-foot-something, way-too-adorable mom's belly.)

Eight years ago tomorrow, I learned the value of my Doctor Walk, when I waltzed into Maternity Care unannounced and without a visitor's pass, said hello to the nurses, and walked into her mom's room like I belonged there. Which we then finagled into her getting an extra visitor, when I took her abuela's visitor's pass down to her uncle on my way out.

Eight years ago tomorrow, I was studying for my boards, and got the best study break ever.

Eight years ago tomorrow, my heart found a little more room.

Happy birthday, Alej. Your Nouna, te ama.

Couldn't make this shit up

Things that have significantly complicated my last 36 hours:
- My father is now in the hospital. He's two floors up from my mother. He developed a small bowel obstruction overnight (a kink in his intestines, basically), so left the house in an ambulance this am. At least they're in the same place now. But I feel like a ping-pong ball.
- People who do not call me back.
- My mom's cousin is dying of ovarian cancer. You know, the cousin she doesn't speak to. This news has really upset her, and so of course I now feel guilty for telling her.
- There are so many things about the next week that are so far up in the air I can't even tell you.
- The plan for the move this weekend has changed no less than eleven times.
- My relatives. That's all I'm saying about it.
- My mom has this friend who's all pissed at me for moving my mother. Is she going to take care of my mom? Make sure she has 24 hour supervision, makes sure she's safe and up in the morning and dressed for bed at night? Ferries her to doctors appointments and makes sure she's taking her complicated pre-chemo med regimen? Is she going to get my dad to all of his various appointments? Is she going to make sure they're meeting people at the Senior Living resort complex? No. No she is not. Thus? She can bite me.
- I apparently had to give my apartment complex 60 days notice before I could leave. Because not renewing my lease 60 days before it was due apparently wasn't enough.
- Work kind of screwed me over yesterday as far as my position next year.

Things that have made my last 36 hours significantly better:
- I have the best friends in the whole world.
- Claudia and Roo are tolerating the plan changing over and over and over (and over). And are still both willing to drive all the way to NC with us.
- Claud and I had a really, really nice dinner Sunday, which helped to put a lot of things into perspective ("Right. And that's why your parents can't stay here"). Last night my cousin Gina and I had dinner out and a very nice heart to heart.
- Today, after this whole drama with my dad and bouncing all around and getting told that I was incompetent at what I'm doing quite well, I came to Robin's and hung out with her and Luke. She even bought me cute comfy PJs while she was out at Kohl's. We had a lovely time and Luke decided my name was Aunt Cake. And so it is.
- Peng and I had a very awesome talk today. It's weird to be homesick when I'm technically home.
- Jer and Ali are going to come pack up my folks for the move later this week. Robin is probably coming too. My relatives will be annoyed because it's going to eat into their time with us. I'm not sure I care. I'll check to see if my mom does.
- People I work with have been awesome and supportive and wonderful.
- Even if work screwed me a bit, it's still less than the amount of screwage that could be contained in an hour at the Emerald Palace.
- I still have the world's best dog, even if I do miss her ridiculously.

So, on the whole, I guess it balances.

Pseudobulbar affect

Have I explained this yet? Forgive me if I have, my brain's on a little bit crooked these days.

Pseudobulbar affect is this thing that happens to people after strokes and certain brain injuries, wherein you rather lose the ability to modulate how you express your emotions. So whatever you feel, it just comes right out. My friend and local neurologist, the Pocket Narcissist, once described this quite aptly as "emotional incontinence." You feel it, out it comes - splat.

My mom has always been a tenderhearted soul, but now bursts into tears at least five times a day. It doesn't last long, and it's very sincere, which is sort of sweet. It tends to happen when people are nice to her more than when she's upset about something. When she's sad, or frustrated, she just looks really, really sad (enough that it frequently makes me want to cry).

But then, there's the other side of it, which is completely delightful. When she's happy, at times she gets downright giddy. A great example of this happened today, when my mom and I were working with the PT on skills to get her in and out of the car, which involves standing very close, facing each other. The physical therapist is this very tall, lanky, skinny girl, which is a notable contrast to my frame. My mother, of course, is short, and so when the PT and I switched places, I made the offhand comment to her that there may be a pretty big difference in how my mom fit together than they did, and the therapist (I heart her) is like, well, right, the boobs. I commented that, after all, it was my mom's fault that I had them, but regardless, I would try not to suffocate my mother.

This culminated, of course, in me trying to lift my mother out of the wheelchair and her not being able to help at all because she had suddenly collapsed into a fit of giggles when I bent over to help her.

It was hysterical.

It's also nice to be able to see my mom excited about things, stuff as simple as watching her play the Wii today (yep. As part of her rehab. Frickin' awesome) and being all smiles when she did a kickass job even though she was bowling with her right (weak) hand.

She's making a lot of progress. I was telling her this evening that, even though she was totally exhausted and felt like shit, I could see noticeable improvement in her function in her right hand and in her gait and balance since even this morning. She gave me this wide-eyed, exhausted but incredulous look and said, "really??" I was like, totally. Absolutely. And then she nodded and smiled and said, "Wow. I hope so."

It's been so hard on her, this whole endeavor. Not that it hasn't been hard on me, or my dad, or any of the three hundred family members and friends who've called, sent cards, or dropped in (you guys rick, by the way). But it's changed her whole self-identity. It's activated a lot of her issues and poked hard at a lot of sore spots. And tired, frustrated, and sad though she may at times be, she's met the challenge.

The silver lining of all of this is, of course, that it's been really nice to have this time with my folks. My mom and I make a really good team, but we've had a lot of experiences together I think she'd hoped we'd never have to deal with. It's afforded us a certain bond and intimacy, though, that's irreplaceable and completely worth it. Likewise, it's been nice to have breakfasts and dinners with my dad, time to problem solve and plot and plan together, to work on forging forward. And the support and kindness of my friends both local and distant is totally priceless.

There's a long road still ahead of us, of course. But we're starting out strong and we have a good network. You can't ask for much more than that.

Day 1

Didn't get much done today. Stayed up too late again, in part because of the nap I took late in the afternoon, which turned my little sinus headache into a migraine. Good times.

Actual good times were had today, though. I spent a nice chunk of the day with some friends of mine and a gaggle of their assorted children, all of whom are aged four or younger. I was the only one who didn't have to leave to put someone down for a nap (although, see above, re:me putting myself down for a nap), but I have to tell you - I think it was the highlight of my month, when, having spent the previous hour juggling various infants, I was sitting on the floor with three toddlers climbing all over me, playing cars and learning about Chuck the Truck his friends and getting schooled in what various animals say in several different languages.

So, here's a little bit of trivia for your next cocktail party, courtesy of my learned colleagues of the Playskool set, their moms, and a little help from the interwebs...here's what dogs say....

Spanish dogs: guau guau
French dogs: ouah ouah
Punjabi dogs: bhau bhau
German dogs: wau wau
Korean dogs: mong mong
Arabic dogs: aw aw
Russian dogs: gav gav (actually, I hear they have a lot to say these days on the subject of nuclear arms)
Swedish dogs: vof vof
Czech dogs: haf haf
Iranian dogs: vagh vagh
Jewish dogs (the ones that speak Hebrew): haw haw
Greek dogs: ghav ghav

Although, actually, I suspect Greek dogs say something more like, "Why you want to leeeeeave me?" (a la Costa in My Big Fat Greek Wedding).

My favorite, though, my absolute favorite, though, was what the snake says. Which is of course "ssss, ssss," but if you're two, and adorable, this involves sticking your tongue out through your teeth and concentrating very hard on getting it right.

Kids are just the best, I tell you what...I can't think of a better way to have spent my morning.

Happy Kate

Today was a long freakin' day.

But, there was a celebratory dinner (happy birthday, S!!) with some good friends tonight. Good people, good food (I was unaware that The Melting Pot, while still overpriced, could be so damn tasty), a lot of hilarity. We had lots of wonderful, irreverent, often outright inappropriate conversation, with much cackling. It was a wonderful and direly needed evening.

It really has come to my attention over the past few days, what wonderful people I have in my life.

I really am blessed. I just need to take more time to see it.

Another week comes to a close.

So it's Sunday.

My house is still a mess.

I'm still way behind on my notes.

But I had a very pleasant day.

This morning I met Jenny and her crew for coffee and conversation. Jenny is part of this large group of people who call themselves The Village. I'm not exactly sure how it is that they've all come together, but it's this fairly diverse and generally lovely group of people who aren't from the hospital (mostly). The company and the coffee were both fantastic, and I hope they let me come back. Afterward, she and her boyfriend and his friend from church and I went to lunch, and then I ran errands, and stocked up on such exciting things as shampoo and toilet paper and dog food. I came home and had a really good workout (I so heart my Wii). I did some laundry, and some dishes, and spent some quality time with the pup. I had way too much fun with my new phone (I so heart my Droid) and my unlimited text plan. I'm once again up too late on a school night. And am going to regret tomorrow not doing more work this weekend.

But, well, when don't I? And in the grand scheme of things...

Wrap up

I had dinner with my friend Matt tonight. Maggiano's was crowded, so we took one of those tall tables in the lounge. I clamored on up, took off my coat, fussed with the contents of the table...at which point I finally stopped moving, looked at him, sat back and said, "Wow. What a damn week."

Farewell, stressful week.

We had a lovely dinner tonight, a languid affair of good wine and good conversation full of the esoterica and philosophical musings that tend to characterize our more casual discussions away from the hospital. With, of course, a heavy garnish of sardonic wit and punny entendres. After all, even outside the office, we're still us.

The folks and I had a good morning. I made eggs with stuff for breakfast (like an omelet, only more scrambled-y). I indoctrinated my mom to the Wii. My dad made a most excellent coffee mess.

I'm not glad my dad got so sick this week, but I'm definitely grateful for the extra time I got to spend with them.

And so, as it is, everyone's home safe and sound and tucked in to their beds. I'm cold (perhaps I'll turn off the ceiling fan) and have officially stayed up way too late on a school night.

Tomorrow? New week, new month.

So long, February. Don't hurry back. 

Wiiiiiii!

(You have to say that out loud. The double entendre is in the onomatopoeia. Gesundheit.)

I think that somehow today I recommitted to my "change your mind and change the world" plan, that I again decided optimism for its own sake was warranted. The last week has tried very hard to suck the life out of me, and rather than fight it, I've decided instead to simply refuse to let it.

Today wound up being another good day. In truth? Yesterday was pretty hard, but when I focused on the good in it, I found that there actually was quite a lot. Today had it's rough edges as well, but, you know...

I overslept a little, but managed to pick my cousin up in time for her to carpool with me to CH. I dropped her off at work, ran some errands, went to Starbucks and mostly played on Facebook worked (I'm still buried beneath a pile of unwritten and overdue notes. But I got two discharge summaries done this morning. There's hope). I met my completely awesome shrink (have I mentioned how much she rocks, offering me a Saturday slot and whatnot?) and we actually had a really good and productive session. I bummed around at Border's for a while, picked up a book for me, one for my dad, one for my aunt, and then swung by and picked up my cousin, who it turns out had a very interesting morning (and has also caught the plague, which is sad. Damn patients, can't keep their germs to themselves). I dropped her off, got lunch, hung out with my folks.

And? I finally broke down and bought a Wii. I? So totally heart that thing (don't worry, Claud, I don't have the cow game yet). It was a bit beyond my means, but my folks helped out and there were gift cards involved. I bought a second controller used at GameStop.

I have to say... it was completely and totally worth every penny, merely to play Wii Bowling with my dad.

I also sucked it up and bought Super Mario Brothers for Wii, which is not actually that good a Wii game, but totally makes up for it in nostalgia. If, of course, you're from the generation that spent countless hours of their childhood playing low-resolution but high-awesomeness games on the NES. It was remarkable, how I even remembered where the little one-ups and bonus boxes and whatnot were in the original game, like it was somehow stored in my body memory. And after my parents went to bed, I sat there remembering sleepovers and Skittles and Cool Ranch Doritos, summer afternoons with my cousin D (who saved the princess way before I did), big hair, "boy-crazy" friends, jelly shoes and Hypercolor t-shirts.

It made me smile way more than any of those things ever did at the time.

And in the midst of today I made plans for tomorrow. Family time in the AM, folks have to be at the airport by 3ish, and then they get on the big silver bird back to the Chi. After I drop them off, though, Cleo and I are celebrating our collective survival of the past two months or so in typical girly fashion (what isn't made better by a mani-pedi?). And then I have dinner plans later, although so far the plan is exactly as cohesive has, "Let's have dinner tomorrow. What, 7? Yeah, that'll work."

Plus, Maggie and I found the first evidence of daffodils poking through the ground today. Spring is coming!!

Even as completely stressful as this week has been, it's been good to have my family here. And the stress I know about (much less what's lurking in the shadows) doesn't show too many signs of letting up anytime soon. So, I guess there's a choice to be made. I have strong family ties, good friends around me, I have the best dog ever. And every day people let me intimately into their lives and get a fleeting glimpse of the boundless expanse of wonder that is the human psyche.

How can I pass that up?