Lazy Saturday

Well, sorta.

I slept in. So did Maggie. I wrote about half of an over-inclusive discharge summary. I cleaned a little. I tried to nap. I made some dinner. And I had a lovely, lovely, impromptu lunch with Sparrow. We went to this Greek-Lebanese place that's just opened up across the street from my house, and it was very tasty (although...not so much Greek, except for the tzatziki). We spent a couple of hours lingering over good food and good conversation and strong Turkish coffee (right?! You can't serve "Turkish" coffee in a Greek restaurant!). It was a bluebird day in NC.

Still. I have to plan tomorrow better....

Sunday, in bullet points

* Went to work this morning. Not horrible. Finished up at Starbucks around 11:30.

* Came home. Ate lunch. Tried to nap. Didn't so much work. See above, re:Starbucks.

* My dad's in the hospital. Probably pneumonia, unless it isn't. Either way, he's feeling pretty good. Stress echo tomorrow. And probably an upcoming post about why you shouldn't sit around for a few hours waiting for chest pain to get better (Yeah, Dad, that one was aimed at you).

* I did something else this afternoon. I so no longer remember what the hell it was.

* Went to State Hospital with Maggie. Hung out with Peng and Matt, who were both moonlighting there today. Peng and one of the interns were hitting golf balls on the side lawn when I pulled up. Matt and I had a nice chat. Maggie was REALLYEXCITED about pretty much everything and ate more than a few acorns.

* Had a pre-interview gathering tonight with Sparrow, Rene, and Julius. Also five candidates. Several dog people. Much showing of phone pictures of various pups. Good time. Too much food = good leftovers. Four words: Guinness Stout Chocolate Cake.

* Talked to Sparrow for a little while afterwards. Miss seeing her as much as I perpetually seem to think I used to, even if I think that was really only in like the one month we were neighbors.

* Talked to my mom. Also my dad. Status quo.

* Damn, I'm tired...

Some things never change...

Yeah, so, I was planning on being in bed an hour ago... For some reason, I had no problem going to bed at a reasonable time when I was on vacation, and woke up bright and early. And yet, coming home...

My 7am cancelled tomorrow. I was going to get up and go to the gym like a good girl, but, we'll see when I wake up...

I have a lot of things I want to change over the next few months. One of these is, I really want to work harder on my yoga practice. Which means I have to actually start doing yoga more than just sporadically. Plus, I have like a million other things I want to do. Which means I have to extend my day to at least 26 hours...maybe 30...

One thing I am doing - for the next two weeks, I'm going gluten-free. It's something I've been thinking about for years. Look, I clearly have a dietary intolerance to something, which is probably actually an allergy (rather than a strict intolerance, like lactose intolerance; there's no immune response, just a failure to break down lactose. Which, still is hell for uncomfortable), given how I can't quite get my asthma or my allergies under control. It's an experiment; we'll see how it goes.

Okay, okay, I'm going to bed...

Sleepy in NC

It turned out to be a fairly busy day today. I slept horribly last night, which I tried to make up for by sleeping in, but I didn't do that too successfully, either. I frittered the morning away doing small errands, and then Peng and I went to a local Mead Fest. Mead is a wine-like fermented beverage that uses honey instead of grapes. The mead was fine; the company was excellent. I made a new spinning friend who wants to sell me one of her old wheels (spinner ladies - or guys! - out there, is there one y'all would recommend?). We met a bunch of really neat people. And we left with a ton of last year's mead, which featured various stone fruits. This year we brought apple juice (that was the price of admission), so I guess we'll see how that turns out next year. It was a very fun time. We then stopped for Greek food on the way home, which was also very tasty, and now I have lunch Monday.

Fortunately, I could do all this running around today in my new car, which I mentioned yesterday. Here it is:
My family has this habit of naming our cars after the Greek Orthodox patron saint of the day on which we purchase them. Yesterday was the feast day of Joseph of Arimathea, so the Jeep was promptly named "Joe." Joe the Jeep. It fits.

It's a Grand Cherokee. I ended up paying less for it than my old payment was on the Liberty, despite that the interest rate I got was something close to being prison highway robbery, but, my credit sucks, what are you going to do? And it was about $20 more per month than a new Liberty. And it's roomier, and well appointed (as someone on my FB page pointed out, it even comes with a Starbucks cup. Those are standard on all models I drive). I had a Grand Cherokee in college/med school, and I loved it. I'm such a Jeep girl.

The key is all funny, though, look at this:

It's not actually a key, really. But, if you push the little button on the back, look what pops out:

A real key. Which works in the door. I think this is totally fabulous, because I can leave the car running and locked (say, if I have a pup in there whom I don't want to broil, but I also don't want anyone to steal her. Or Joe) and run into a building to run a quick errand, and then I can get back in the car.

Maggie seems to approve.

Food coma

So I went to Peng and Chef's for dinner tonight. Chef has this theory that I hate him (not really), because every time the two of them invite me to do something with them, I say no. Which is not entirely true, but the point of fact is that Chef has Mondays and Tuesdays off, and I don't like to stay out late on school nights. So when I'm up for mayhem, he's at work, and it ends up being just me and Peng (or me, Peng, and other people who aren't Chef). This is rather sad, because I do actually like Chef quite a bit. And Peng works within smacking distance of me, so I see her regularly, so I don't miss her much if I am lame and don't play with them on Monday or Tuesday nights.

But, I have no patients again tomorrow (counting down the days until real life hits...), and it's more or less my last free Tuesday for a while, so I suggested we all get together tonight. I actually suggested we go out, because Chef chefs for a living, after all, and it IS his day off. And I don't especially like to do therapy on my days off, so I can give the guy a break, you know? But, no, he likes his job more than I like mine, apparently, and insisted on cooking. Which I will never turn down. Chef made chicken and fried rice, which were awesome, and I'm very glad they talked me into taking home the leftovers. And then the three of us hung out and watched three hours of the Food Network and chatted and kibbitzed and had a generally lovely time.

But now I'm home. And full. And sleepy. It's lovely...

How is it Friday??

This week has been going by so fast...

Today was a little more laid back. I slept in a little, ran some errand with my mom, we made cookies, I went to the gym. And my cousins, whom I so totally adore, came over. We talked, we ate, we were loud. It was a very Greek good time.

Lots of culinary wonderfulness today. Portillo's hamburger for lunch, Giordano's stuffed cheese pizza for dinner. That's the stuff of epicurean Chicago legend.

And I worked out on this whole different cross-trainer today at the local gym. It was like some sort of stair-stepper/elliptical hybrid thingie. It was amusing and fancy and had a lot of buttons. It made my feet hurt (the elliptical always does, the past couple of weeks. I clearly need new shoes...). I had a short little workout today, only a half hour, just cardio, but, it was restorative. And something has to combat all the cheese and grease and cookies of today...

Family gathering tomorrow. Knitting Sunday. Road trip again Monday. I can't believe it's almost time to go back....

One-day weekend

Tomorrow? Is my very very last weekend call EVER. Which - thank GOD, because I hate weekend call, and tomorrow looks crazy busy.

But, nonetheless, I'm on tomorrow, so of course I had to try and cram a whole weekend into half the time. I slept in (sort of...I didn't actually sleep that late, but I refused to get out of bed). Gomer kicked my ass. A lot. There were wind sprints involved (Or as I like to think of them, "wheeze sprints." I had to go get my inhaler...argh) and throwing of 15lb medicine balls. And then I was going to do more time on the treadmill, but, damn, I was just finished. So I did a five minute cooldown and then took my funky, sweaty self over to the Whole Paycheck, which entailed buying a zillion pounds of fruit (I was hungry and had no oxygen going to my brain...), two bottles of this Syrah that I like (on sale. Much better price), and standing in the frozen food section for a good long while trying to remember what I was supposed to buy (see above re: lack of sugar/oxygen). I drove home, hung out with Maggie, showered, napped a little, and then had a nice night out with Peng - makeup fussing (wedding is in FOUR WEEKS. Ack! Where's my dress?!), then wine tasting (I acquired a nice Riesling) and dinner (not awe-inspiring, but decent). And then we went back to her apartment and she fed me homemade mint-chocolate chip ice cream, which Chef made with fresh mint that they had grown in their kitchen window. Seriously awesome. Plus, we're making headway on having a plan for the bachelorette party/wedding weekend festivities. So, really, rah.

But, looking at the consult list I have to cover tomorrow, I'd better get to bed. I don't need to be in until about half an hour later than I usually do (call starts at 8:30), but I have to drop Mags off at the spa first. She's excited. I think I'm going to have them give her a pedicure while she's there. I don't think she's very excited about that...

Last weekend call EVER folks. That? That's definitely exciting.

We know. We're lame.

But it's been a long, tired day here. But, my aunt came over today and helped my folks unpack the kitchen, and it looks great. The house is more or less livable at this point. The 'rents are going to go back to the cottage tomorrow and clean out what they can in the morning, I'm going to stop by on my way home from work and get the rest of it. Which will easily make for about a 12 hour day for me, what with the commuting and the fact that Fridays are typically long for me anyways.

But there's a weekend a-comin'. And bringing with it, naps.

Have I mentioned, though, lately (it is Thursday and all)? I love my family. My parents have been such a huge help with this move. I think they packed up like 70% of the cottage, and it's just been nice having them here. And my aunt and uncle (whom, I think I've mentioned before, are not actually related to them at all, but my parents met my aunt in a tour group in Hawaii some 32 years ago or better, when she was like 19 and they were, well, not. And, here we are...) also have pitched in a bunch. And they brought us homemade dinner last night, and she brought cupcakes (AWESOME cupcakes) today. An army travels on its stomach, you know? This move has totally been fueled by my mom's and my aunt's baked goods.

My folks are staying through Monday morning, which will be nice, to have them here all weekend. I have a friend's going away party on Saturday night, which will be nice, and I'm sure they'll enjoy the quiet without me here. And Sunday night we're going out with my aunt and uncle to the restaurant where Chef chefs, to celebrate birthdays and fellowship and life in general. Good company, plus - Gruyere mac and lemon tart, here I come.

But, for now? Going to bed.

Enjoy a gratuitous picture of my sleepy dog.

(Also? Love my dog. She had a long day yesterday protecting us from the movers - whom she loved - and the cable guy - whom she adored - and whatnot...I think she slept most of today away...)

Tired....again...still....

Ohhh, it was a long day. Of course, after sleeping through yesterday (I did make it to Starbucks, but that was about it), I woke up this morning at like 3:30. So Maggie and I watched some TV, and fussed on the internet, and then long about 7 I finally got up and went...um...to the Starbucks (I'm sensing a theme, no?). Until the gym opened up (it USED to be 24h...not so much these days), and then I spent too long there (that was a feeling-the-tired-but-too-stubborn-to-stop kind of workout), and then went to the Whole Foods, where I spent too much money. Came home, laid around for a while, then finally got my ass in gear and showered and headed for the Lane Bryant, where I spent (again) way too much money buying all manner of things that cannot be mentioned (which is fortunate, because things have been raggedy for a while in the unmentionables drawer. And to quote Warrick on CSI, "Ain't nothin' sadder than a girl with raggedy drawers").

But then I met Peng at the mall and we fussed around with makeup (Peng, not so much with the makeup-wearing. She has Chap-Stick. And occasional - very occasional - nail polish) in preparation for the wedding. I think we found a look that works, at least preliminarily (we'll let the Mary Kay lady weigh in on that, later, too). And then we had a lovely dinner at the restaurant where Chef...um....chefs. I had this lemon tart that was absolutely to die for. The cassoulet was good, too (although meat-ful...I'd never had cassoulet with meat in it), and the salad, the wine, the company - all delightful. Tart, though? Makes you a little weak in the knees. Ah, French desserts.

Peng? Had (I'm so not kidding) sweetbreads and head cheese for dinner. Also mussels, but those weren't nearly as amusing.

I have a 7am patient tomorrow, and then am on call AGAIN tomorrow night. I meant to be in bed an hour ago, but dinner took a while and then I had to go snuggle Little Maxine (Sparrow's on call) and gosh, that was just rough...but perhaps I'll get my tucas to bed now....

Sunday! Sunday! Sunday!

Ahhh, I do like a weekend.

Yesterday I didn't do much, frankly, which is a nice change. My knee was still sore, so Gomer and I decided it was best to reschedule to today. So mostly I sat around not doing much for a while (okay, I was reading), and then Peng and I went to a wine tasting. Which was delightful. Peng's one of a cast of regulars who, as she's been telling me for a while now, are hysterical. Certainly the rowdiest bunch of oenophiles I've met, ever. It was a very good time. With some very good wine. And then she and I went down the way to this little Italian place that had surprisingly authentic Chicago-style deep dish. A little cornmeal would've made it just about perfect. Ohh, gosh, that was a delightful find. Made me a little bit homesick again when I had the leftovers for lunch today...

All in all, it was nice - I had dinner with Ruthie on Friday when Peng was on call, and dinner with Peng last night. I like my officemates.

Oh, and the Tarheels won. Yay.

Today, I got up, spent some quality time with Mags and then Little Maxine (Sparrow was on call last night), went to the Starbucks and the Walgreens and then to the gym. Gomer and I had rescheduled for today, right? He cancelled on my this morning (things were hectic at his real job last night), and then recanted (well, maybe he wasn't feeling all that bad) and then we agreed that maybe Tuesday was better anyway (when I pointed out that I wouldn't be at all offended if he wanted to take today off after all). Which made it even funnier when I went to the gym at the same time I'd planned to go anyway and ran into him. We had a nice little chat, I went back to the elliptical and he went back to his workout, which...you know, I always suspect there's a weekly meeting where all the trainers sit around and come up with more ways for us to look stupid (seriously. Two weeks ago, about twenty minutes before he made me do sideways squats with a big heavy disc thing and then toss a medicine ball against the wall, I watched Gomer pushing another of his clients across the gym in an office chair). It's nice to know they save a little of the looking ridiculous for themselves, too.

I spent five more minutes on the elliptical today than I usually do (I'm still getting into elliptical shape - that thing is hard - and am trying to slowly push up my time and resistance), and think I figured out how I jacked up my knee last week. Well, okay, it hurt when I left the gym Thursday night, after a hard go at the treadmill and elliptical and the lifting workout that involved those sideways squat things again, and then I stepped out of bed later, and it caught, and I twisted it. But I think that I'm hyperextending it too much on the elliptical. Which I think is causing some general inflammation, but also some patellar tendonitis. Or maybe infrapatellar bursitis. I don't know, I'm a psychiatrist. Knees are a little beyond my purview these days...

Anyhow.

That five extra minutes added a good deal more stinky, but I went to the grocery store anyway. I'm sure the grocery people were thrilled. I bought the wrong sour cream and forgot like eight things, including the chicken I'd planned on making for dinner. I came home and did a shitload of dishes, some of which had gotten unacceptably gross (strangely, those were relatively new. Turns out this Spirutein stuff I've been drinking ferments really fast and then starts to grow all manner of weird stuff). I realized about halfway through that my plan to scale this giant mountain of dishes, which I washed by hand in really hot water, and then take a shower was ill-conceived about halfway through when I started running out of hot water....

Planning was not my strong suit today.

But I did manage to do all the dishes, and the laundry, and eventually I did even manage to shower. With hot water and everything. I also washed all the pieces of my espresso machine and its little accessories today, in an effort to cut back on my Starbucks consumption (we'll see how that goes....). I'd intended to make chicken and potatoes for dinner, but, see above, re: stupid grocery shopping moment, so I had a big baked potato with cheese and broccoli. Which...somewhere in there, I realized I wanted to actually bake the potato. And...I hadn't really done that in a while, so I wasn't quite sure I remembered how. Like, I usually do them on the grill or in the microwave. So I texted Peng, who knows about these things, is marrying Chef, and can locate her Joy of Cooking faster than I can (it's in a box somewhere, still). She helped me out, but in the meantime I found this website. Which cracked me up a little.

It was a yummy potato. But next time I might microwave it a little first...

Bang bang

Love Thursday, in bullets. Er, bullet points...

bI have the world's best dog.
bAlso a rockstar shrink.
bAnd a very comforting mom.
bAnd I'm done driving to the coast for another week.
bAnd it was an amazingly beautiful day at the coast today. BEAUTIFUL.
bI got to go out with our social worker today. I like her. She feeds me lunch.
bI went to the gym despite my really not wanting to and it was a good idea.
bI met nice people at the gym.
bI actually cooked dinner. Pasta primavera (with broccoli, peppers, and then corn and edamame, which don't quite seem to fit, but, whatever). Yummy.
bMy dog is all cuddly and cute. Love her.
bBones is on. Well, via the DVR.
bI finished one sock yesterday. Except...well...does anyone have a suggestion for a stretchy bind-off to use at the top of the sock??
bIt's time for bed. That's the best news yet.
bYep. Those are tiny little bicycles. They amuse me.

Sushi

Way later than I need to be up right now. Here's the gist of my day - got to bed late last night, woke up early to meet Gomer, who cancelled at the last second. Grumbled for a while, went to Starbucks, Target (even made a list this time and I still forgot half of what I needed! Argh), then the gym. Grabbed lunch, came home, took a wonderful nap. Then I somehow let myself get talked into going for sushi (part of the discussion over the last few days of where we were going to go tonight was Ruthie saying, "But Kate hates fish!" Which is true. But, alas, we were going out for Tyler's birthday, not mine, and so I make do...). Peng and I tried to be all accomodating and pick Tyler up but he now lives in the middle of nowhere and we got very, very lost. But we made it eventually, I got a minute to play with his roommate's dog (sooooooooooo sweet), and we weren't even the last ones there. It actually wasn't bad and my veggie roll was even quite good. And we had fun. We ended up back at Mike's and now it's far too late for me to still be awake but I'm texting with my patient who's in crisis, and wow, I really need to go to bed, because I'm (of course) on call tomorrow...

This little PIGgy

Tonight marks the beginning of the 2009 recruitment season. Tomorrow is our first set of interviews for next year's intern class, and so tonight is the traditional pre-interview gathering, affectionately known in our department as a PIG. It's pretty standard - the night before interviews at pretty much every program in every discipline, there's a meet-and-greet with the current residents at a local bar or restaurant, or when I was interviewing here, at one of the residents' houses. It's a nice, supposedly informal way to kind of get to know the people in the program, it gives you a feel for what people are like outside the hospital, and if you're particularly astute, it gives you a excellent way to gauge the dynamics of the people involved - are they snooty and distant? Generally relaxed and happy? Do they talk about work with each other or just when they're giving you their sales pitch (for those playing along at home, remember that we spend roughly twice as much of our awake time at work than not, so, if they're not talking about work at all, something's awry)? Are they snippy about it? Jovial? Excited? Dry? That can tell you an awful lot about peoples' attitudes toward their work and their patients. Do they generally avoid each other, or do they have inside jokes, ask about kids, family, hobbies? Do they volunteer positive information about each other ("Oh! Martha's really interested in community psychiatry, you should talk to her about our AHEC stuff," or, "Kate knit her own socks!" or, "Mike just ran a half marathon two weeks ago, you should talk to him about the running clubs around here")? Now, of course we're all on our best behavior, but, there's still a lot to be learned. And the residents - who often have a say in the rankings - can gather useful information as well. Generally, I like these things, and am hoping to go to as many of them (and the lunches during the interview day) as possible.

You'll notice, however, that tonight, this little piggy is blogging and making pizza.

Let me tell you how my day went...

I got a late start this morning. Way, way later than I wanted to. And I finally get out the door, and I get a table at the Starbucks, and read through some stuff....and then I get this text message from Sparrow:

"Dogs out."

I looked at that a moment...thought, huh? Is she just making a pop culture reference? Does she want to go take the pups somewhere? Is she...and then, it clicked.

Dog's out.

My dog.

Is out.

Shit!

I immediately started packing my stuff up and making a beeline for the door as I called her. Juan, our lawn guy/man Viernes had called her and said that Maggie had made a break for it. They were off to go corral her. I said something along the lines of "i'llberightthere!" Fortunately, Mags was standing right in front of the house (although Juan said she had started off towards Sparrow's house), and was easily redirected into my house, where the dog door was subsequently slammed shut. Sparrow called, and I stopped driving like a felon with a two-second headstart. By the time I got back home, Maggie was like, "Guess what happened! Guess what happened! Guess what...ohhhhhh, wait, I'm in trouble, aren't I? Ohhhhhhhhhh......"

It was cute. I hugged her. Sparrow'd already told her she was crazy.

Near as we can tell she did indeed go over the fence from on top of the air conditioner. Which is a dilemma I hopefully have solved, at least for the moment, as I took one of my old plastic shelving units and set the shelves upside down on top of the air conditioner. And there's a ladder in front of it. Maggie seems disappointed. For the record, I did NOT think she would go over that fence, certainly not more than once. It's a five foot drop, for Pete's sake! But then, Maggie is nothing if not spry and resilient...

I also discovered that there's been a large grey housecat living under my house. The entrance to which is right on the other side of the fence from the air conditioner (and which has again been sealed off). Dollars to donuts Maggie saw her and was all, "KITTY!!!" And, boop, over the fence she went.

(It was particularly amusing watching me try to explain this theory to Juan, I'm sure, given my pathetic command of Spanish and his limited English. It was a lot of me going, "Perro...con gatto..." and making leaping and scampering motions with my hands. The best part of that whole exchange, though, was when he picked up the recycle bin that's sitting next to the fence covering the hole that Maxine dug during their last jailbreak. He looked down and saw the hole, and all I said was, "Perrita Maxine." And he said "Ohhhhhhhh" in that knowing way, and laughed, and put it back down...)

::sigh::

So then I met up with Sparrow and Martha at this little deli in town, and we chatted and hung out and I had really good falafel. I then went to the Lowes Foods, where I suddenly discovered I was not feeling so well. Which perplexed me. Until two things happened: a, I finally got to the point where I felt so awful I was like, crap, I just need to go home, and 2, it finally occurred to me where we were in the month. So I attempted to finish shopping, checked out, and drove home, not yet realizing that I'd forgotten about half of what I'd gone for, including most of the components of tonight's dinner. Like, you know, cheese, and, say, pizza crust.

I curled up into a ball for a while, thinking some nasty things about Eve and bemoaning the five weeks I have left until Larry (my doc) puts in a shiny new progestin-eluting IUD and hopefully remedies a lot of this (have I mentioned that my insurance company is giving me a Mirena for Christmas? I'm so excited. Soexcited. In fact, never have I been so excited about a sharp poke in the cervix. I am hoping, however, this goes better than the last Mirena that Larry and I tried to put in together). But eventually I got up and realized that it was 4:30 and I'd forgotten about half the things on my list. And that this little piggy was going to have to go back to market.

So I got up. Went to Target. Went to Whole Foods. Came home, went to start dinner...and realized I still hadn't remembered to buy mozzarella cheese.

There was a long string of expletives, but fortunately the six cheese Italian blend I'd bought a month ago had a little mozzarella in it, so we converted from Greek pizza (because it turns out I didn't have any non-moldy feta, either) to fancy six cheese pizza (which I forgot to put seasonings on. I just remembered that. The leftovers have been in the fridge for over a half hour). I then started a load of laundry, and started doing the dishes. And promptly ended up looking at the clock, covered in dog hair and dishwater and swearing at anything in sight, and deciding that this? Was NOT the image I wanted to project to prospective interns.

I'm all for realism, and being up front, but, there is a limit to how much crazy I let people see. Even y'all.

I'm giving up and writing this whole weekend off. Tomorrow will be better. Even if I am on call twice this week. And then again next week.

Never mind. I'm going to go hide under my covers and snuggle with my jailbird dog...

Things that make me love my job

We had the first half of our yearly inservice exam today, and then had lecture until 5:30. Today was long. I tried to take a nap in the pink chair in our office, but...it broke. We still haven't figured out how or why it broke, but, the event looked something like this:

Me: (settles into chair. Something seems off) Ruthie, I think there's something wrong with the chair.
Ruthie: Oh, no, it's fine. It's just because Dr. G sat in it (Dr. G had just left our office)
Me: No, something feels weird....
(about five minutes pass. Suddenly, I realize....my head...is...sinking.....)
Me: Uh, Ruthie? I think there really is something wrong with the chaaaaaaaaaair!

And over I went. I actually ended up under Peng's desk all tangled up in the chair with my legs up in the air. It was.....let's go with.....highly comical.

So then later, Ruthie offers to drive me home. Which, great, because I walked today. So she goes out of the parking garage, and turns right...my house is about a mile and a half to the left. But, okay, it's hard to make a left turn out of there. So then she keeps going, gets to the point where you can turn right and double back to my house...and turns left. I waited about a block, and then said, "Um.....Ruthie......? Where are you taking me??"

Her answer?

"This way."

And this would be why Ruthie and I are friends.

She ended up taking the most convoluted route possible to get me home. Which worked out okay, because we ended up having to stop for provisions finding this cute little restaurant that was a little odd, but very tasty, and had nice ambiance.

It's been a long, weird day.

But then I read this, and you know? It made me very glad I was not the White Plains, NY medical examiner. Or a park worker. Can you imagine? "Oh, look, a suitcase....."

Okay, also glad I'm not a drug mule. Out of all the involved parties, I think his day was worst.

Love (my photogenic pooch, and my photogenerative parents) Thursday

I had a long day, as per usual, really. We had Treatment Team this morning, which is something new and different on the Psychotic Unit. Treatment team is essentially this - one scared patient pulled into a room full of everyone involved in their care: doctors (4 people, including the med students), nursing (1), social work (2), pharmacy (1), occupational therapy (1), and rec therapy (1). So, 10:1. We put them in the hot seat and say, "how do you think things are going?" and assess where we are relative to our goals for treatment and their goals for treatment.

On the whole, this isn't as awful as it sounds, and actually tends to be very empowering to the patients (well, after the first one). Most of my patients did fine. One of them called me fat after I told him I was changing his medications and felt that he was not ready for discharge ("If we're going to get personal, you could stand to lose some weight." Hmm, yeah, thanks for the advice. Thank God you were here, I never would've known) and then railed on both me and my attending for eating meat. And...then said he'd have to just wait for his UFO to take him away.

Um...yeah.

Yesterday, he almost had me convinced that he was ready for discharge, had made a genuinely logical and somewhat reasonable argument....until he said..."Don't make me get the weather involved."

Uh-huh.

He continues.

"Fine, okay, two thousand years ago I was Jesus Christ, but..."

::sigh: You give a crazy guy enough rope, eventually...ah well.

So, long day. But then we had cake for Faye's birthday (we went out last night, but today was her actual birthday, and she was on call - ew - so Cleo brought her a cake and we sang and it was nice), and then Ruthie offered to drive me home. And then we decided while sitting in traffic that neither of us wanted to cook, so we went to this little diner for dinner. It was nice.

And when I got home, I discovered that my new camera came today! Thanks, Mom and Dad!

Fortunately, I had a willing and photogenic model.

Here's the shot from the old camera:


And the new:


So...um...bluer...better definition...well, I'm still learning how to use it...

BUT. This morning, I got some classic Maggie pics.

I found this new Whipped Cottage Cheese made by this company called Friendship Dairies. It's really good. Really good. This morning I finished the container, and Mags just looked so pathetic and forlorn and wanted something to eat...so I gave her the empty container to clean it up.


It was yummy.

So then she really went in for it.


Which didn't work out so well for Maggie, but I thought it was funny as hell.


Fortunately, she figured it out.




Mmmmmmm, tasty.

Sadness

Sometimes, I forget I'm allowed to feel stuff.

It's one of those therapist-y things, to some degree, You know, we're supposed to be all neutral and not have personal lives and know how to handle shit. Which, of course, "handling" things doesn't actually mean not having emotions, but rather, having them, knowing what to do with them, working through them, blah, blah, blah. But you get used to being all dispassionate and impartial and "what do you think about that?", that sometimes you forget the tempered side of things doesn't actually mean being detached from everything. That's just boring.

In some part it's one of those trauma survivor things. You get into this mindset of, you know, like, "victims" are controlled by their emotions and their trauma, but, "survivors" control theirs. Which, is, of course, crap. There are many things that differentiate the two; that is not one of them.

I've been running around for the past two days, very, "oh, no, I'm fine, thanks." And I *am* fine. But I often forget it's just fine (even for me) to be a little not fine. So, yeah, I'm fine. I'm also sad. And exhausted. And I think I'm coming down with something.

Thanks, everyone, by the way, for all the kind words and support.

::sigh::

But in better news, my cellmates officemates and I went to dinner after work tonight, at this new chain spot called Evos. It's all organic, healthy, eco-conscious fast food, blah, blah, blah. They "air bake" their fries. I was skeptical, but it was really good. The fries, well, taste like fries. The burger was free-range, hormone-free, antibiotic-free, and really tasty. And I had one of the best chocolate shakes I think I've ever had. Plus, the company couldn't be beat.

I only had one class tonight, which was nice, because I hadn't even done the reading for that one. And then Sparrow and Maxine came over (to retrieve Sparrow's laundry). And now I'm watching the premier of SVU, which, the only thing I can say about it thusfar is, dude, I think that kid's been on our unit....

Just a dream and the wind to carry me

I've had this song stuck in my head all day.



Can't really complain, it's a nice little song. It's part of a mix I downloaded from iTunes based on that Yacht Rock series. Soothing. Smoooooth. And probably, of the several mixes I listened to very loudly today, one that my neighbors would find least objectionable.

I got a lot done today. Got up at a reasonable hour, went to Target and Whole Foods, came home and cleaned a crapton of stuff out of my fridge. Filled my whole garbage can (not just from the fridge). I vacuumed. I dyed my hair (thank God, finally! My roots were like a mile and a half long).

I had a good soundtrack for all of this. A nice mix of country, R&B, techno, gangsta rap...and, you know, loud, which is key.

I unplugged my iPod-blaring alarm clock (which, I never use it as an alarm, so, I'm not sure why I take up valuable bedside table space with it) and moved it to a more central location. Which, um, unfortunately turned out to be the bathroom...


I did a mountain (mountain) of dishes today. Again with the "finally."


Maggie and I thought about planting a flag on the top. Dish Mountain.

I then made a pie. Okay, not so much "made" as, removed from the wrapper and baked. It's from the Vermont Mystic Pie Company, which I bought yesterday when I was postcall and woozy and it somehow made me nostalgic (the box is a Stephen Huneck design, who is this local artist in Woodstock, VT, which is one of my favorite little towns). Mmmm, it smelled yummy. And in fact, it was yummy. But it also set off the smoke alarms.

Dude.

There are two smoke detectors in the hallway between my bedroom and the kitchen. Remember, my whole house is, like, 700 square feet. It's barely three strides to the kitchen. One of them, fortunately, is soft, but persistent. The other one is PIERCING and starts saying "Fire. Fire. Fire."

I did not know my smoke detector talked.

Maggie got worried. She was literally standing in the doorway, ready to bolt for her dog door, seemingly paralyzed by ambivalence about whether she should evacuate or not, for, like, two whole minutes.


So there's all this blaring and beeping and the one detector is telling me (quite calmly) that there's a fire and then there's me, jumping up and down like one of my patients the big raving lunatic that I am and waving a cutting board frantically at the detectors and screaming "Nothing! Is! On! Fire! Stop it! Stop it! STOPIT!!"


I think she finally went outside in sheer embarrassment.

I gave up for a little while once I got the talkie under control and just let the other fucking thing beep. I wandered outside, I took some pictures of the cool pink flowers I found randomly growing in my yard today. Sparrow (who came over later to do laundry) said they're called Surprise Lilies.


I was, indeed, surprised.

Pretty, though, aren't they?

These are, by the way, the um, exaugural (I'm not sure that's a word...well, it is now) pictures of my trusty Fuji Finepix. Because I've been having a lot of issues with darkfield photography, the slow shutter, depth of field, etc, etc. So my parents bought me a kickass new camera for my birthday. I'm so excited!! It should be here in a few days, and I'll be sure to take lots of exciting high-ISO fancy-pants pictures when it does.

Probably mostly of Maggie.

In less good news, my grandfather went into hospice today. He was diagnosed last week, I think, with "bone cancer" (who knows what the hell that means. Nobody else in the family speaks medical, or wants to, so it gets frustrating for me when bad things happen. I'm thinking this is multiple myeloma). He'd been on dialysis, getting chemo and radiation, and for whatever reason today they decided to stop dialysis and go to comfort care. Which, may well be a fine idea, I'm not trying to malign it.

It's such a complicated situation, that side of the family...well, more on that some other time. Right now, I just need to go to bed and pout.

No one believes you

We had a patient in the ER tonight report that he was "self-medicating" with - ready for it? - 40 lbs of chocolate. A day.

Dude, whatever.

Besides, I think it was the vicoden with which you were self-medicating, actually.

I keep thinking about the magnitude of that. 40 lbs. So, the average Hershey bar is 0.095 lbs (according to Hershey.com. It's not like I randomly know this). Let's round up to a tenth of a pound for the sake of middle-of-the-night math. So, at ten per pound, that's 400 Hershey's bars per day. And roughly 84,000 calories.

Not even a champion chocolate chomper such as myself could do that. Not a chance, buddy.

Tropical Sunday

So the tropical storm du jour has passed, and it was a balmy, sunny Sunday in North Carolina.

I woke up at 11:30 when Faye called to see if I wanted to have lunch. Which I did, if only to drag my lazy (well, tired), unshowered ass out of bed and get moving, since yesterday I did nothing but lie around like a big lump and watch reruns of House, which, frankly, I don't even like that much - the technical inaccuracies are inexcusable, and I just can't get invested in the characters - but I somehow still find endearing. And turned down no less than three invitations yesterday I really wanted to go to but did not see myself staying awake for. So I needed to get the hell out of mi casa.

We had a nice, chatty lunch at Panera. And then I did a little grocery shopping - for both me and the pooch. Wow, I wish Nutro made a people formula. My culinary life might be boring, but it would be so damn much easier. Scoop in the morning, scoop at night, done. And if they could make it taste like cheesecake...

I also bought a ridiculous amount of groceries for myself, mostly because for the past week I've found it next to impossible to eat an actual meal, but ridiculous for the fact that I'm going to be at a conference for four days out of this week. At least, I think I am. I'm still not sure the department is paying, and damned if I'm going to pay for it. I mean, there are some interesting things going on, and it's in Asheville, where I've never been, but the only reason I signed up is because they were going to pay for it.

I am paying for the Ghost Trolley Tour, which I think is Friday night. I was initiated into ghost tours of old Southern cities by my friend when we were in St. Augustine, and have been a fan ever since.

Anywho...I actually managed to get some stuff done today. I did a bazillion loads of laundry (PS - my new favorite thing? Method dryer cloths in Aloe and....something. They're, like, damp. And good for two loads. And smell amazing) and a week and a half's worth of dishes. I did some writing on some random project I'm working on. I made chili, which will feed me for half the meals I need to make this week (gonna be sick of chili by Thursday). And had poundcake with the most amazingly perfect, ripe, aromatic red raspberries for dessert. I seriously could've sat there and huffed the raspberries all night.

So tomorrow it's back to the regular old grind. My clinics for tomorrow and Tuesday are packed to the rafters (Tuesday is 7am to 6pm. I open and close with therapy patients and have my regular clinics, which are chock-full, in between. Fun!). And then I'm on call Wednesday night. And off to Asheville - in theory - on Thursday, until Sunday.

Hey, at least my life isn't boring.

Random thoughts

Ohh, I'm so in that post-call, really tired, disorganized wackiness. My head hurts. My tummy hurts (Ruthie and I went out to dinner. The conversation was lovely, the food was good, but something has clearly not agreed with me). So I'm going to spare you any of my random ramblings tonight...