And I pulled out my gun!

More random frivolity...this morning, and I don't actually remember how this happened, I stumbled across the funniest goddam thing I've seen in a long freakin' time. So. Funny. Ha.

Okay.

First some background.

So we've all seen the episode of South Park - Trapped in the Closet - where Stan joins Scientology and is "recognized" as the reincarnation of L. Ron Hubbard and then Tom Cruise comes to seek his approval and, not getting it, locks himself in Stan's closet. And then John Travolta locks himself in Stan's closet. And then R. Kelly - who, to my knowledge, isn't a Scientologist - locks himself in Stan's closet with John and Tom. You know, this episode:

South Park - trapped in the closet

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If you haven't seen it, take the 22:20 and do so. 'Cause it's some funny shit. And it was a huge scandal. Nominated for an Emmy, but Tom Cruise and his people made such a fuss that it got banned from being aired in reruns, it's the episode that led to Isaac Hayes leaving because all of a sudden he objected to them making fun of religion (dude, did he not see the episode All About Mormons?), it was a big deal. But what I couldn't figure out was what the heck R. Kelly was doing there, narrating. And then I found this:

Trapped in the Closet on IFC

So, it turns out, Chicago's favorite pedophile (okay, it was 13 counts of child pornography. Most recently for videotaping himself having sex with a 14 year old girl. Oh, and urinating on her. And 12 of those were dropped for improper evidence handling or something. But then there were the other three counts of sex with a minor that got mysteriously settled),

and rapper with increasingly poor fashion sense,

(there is just no excuse for this)

R. Kelly, has a series on IFC.com. Entitled, Trapped in the Closet. So far, there are 12 chapters totalling about 35-ish minutes (without the credits in Ch. 12). Apparently - are you sitting? Are you ready for this? It's a hip hop opera. And holy freakin' cow, it's the funniest thing I've seen in a good long damn while. I howled. Howled. Now, don't watch it in front of the young 'uns, because there's a lot of language you'd expect in a rap opera, but not as much as you might think. And only one person gets shot, despite a lot of brandishing of weapons by everyone from the crooked cop to the trailer trash white girl, but he's fine, he just needs to wash up a little. The midget just keeps passing out and pulling on his inhaler. Seriously, you can't make this stuff up. Go. Watch. Howl.

And then if you're really up for it, Google the video for Weird Al Yankovic's Trapped in the Drive Thru. I'm just sayin'.