Like high school all over again

So yesterday was our first day chock-full of orientation. Wooo-hoo! Mostly, it was long. We sat. Lots of people talked at us about lots of details we're all going to forget by, um, pretty much now. They loaded us down with all manner of stuff...books, pagers, labcoats, scrubs, training manuals, ID badges, parking tags, paperwork in all colors, and my personal favorite - a fit tested HEPA mask that's good for 7 days in an area where TB or SARS is present. They also poked and injected all of us and immunized a couple. And then our bandaged and battle-weary band of nomads schlepped all our newly acquired stuff (that didn't all fit in the kicky new totebag it came with, or the pocketbooks the girls had all brought), all the way to the other end of the hospital (having trekked over there once already), which is a not-short distance, let me assure you, for four hours of computer training. Which, despite the scenic gentleman doing the training who was actually quite efficient (new Robin and I decided we could count the number of times he said "um" in four hours pretty much on one hand), it was dark, long, boring, and we took to amusing ourselves by putting things in the training patients' medical records like "Patient encountered at WalMart. Still crazy." and my neighbor's contribution to of leeches and laudinum to her patient's med list. I was also relieved to discover that I'm one of almost half the class who doesn't actually have a training license yet. Apparently the medical board is not being exceptionally efficient on the whole, and both I and my colleague who was previously a practicing physician for 25 years with a real, permanent license are being held up. So, it isn't just me, at least.

But, all in all, common grinding misery is a good bonding tool. The twelve of us (our 13th counterpart is actually starting in the fall; he's splitting his time between residency and research in a way I'm not quite sure I understand yet, but, whatever works for him) had a good deal of fun amusing ourselves, and today shouldn't be quite as grueling. So we'll see. Off I go again, but so far, so good.

Thanks, also, for all the kind words of encouragement from everyone both on and off the blog. I'm a little amused, though, I have to say, at both how well my facade seems to have held (wow, you guys really think I'm genuinely confident, here. Sweet) and at how many people seemed to interpret "turn and run" as something other than "go home, hide on the couch, and not socialize until forced." Don't worry, folks. As numerous as my anxieties and insecurities may be, I've come way too far to actually turn back now, and I really don't want to. I spent a lot of time, energy, money, and effort becoming a doctor, and it's what I love. So, even when I freak out about getting back into it and what the next few weeks will bring, and freak out I will, that doesn't mean I won't push forward. Because ultimately, I'm also not one to back down from a challenge. And, it's what I need, and it's what I want. So, speaking of which, I'd better get moving and go do that...