What seems to be the officer, problem?

So, yesterday, in the midst of one of those days when you ponder why in the heck you got out of bed in the first place and you wonder if you could just go back there and hide under the covers but figure the world would find you and screw things up anyway, I'm taking my Jeep to the dealer, finally, to have a number of things fixed, including my broken front turn signal light, my broken tail light, and my broken mirror (however, we ignored both my broken bumpers as well as the unfortunate fender...the words "rode hard" often come to mind looking at my Liberty...but in my defense, well, she's a Jeep, they're meant to be, and two, seriously, Jeeps have plastic bumpers. It's entirely possible a good sneeze would bust them up again, so...). Anyhow, my tail light, which is notable for this story, has been broken for at least two years now. Okay. So, on my way to the dealer to get all this fixed before Maggie and I trek off on Monday, and I'm within sight of the dealership, of course, when this cop zooms in behind me.

And, of course, he pulls me over. Of course. Not that I'm speeding. Not that I've ignored a signal. Not that I've done anything that can be construed as illegal (including, by the way, having a broken tail light, because it still works, and to the best of my knowledge this is a legal situation in Illinois). But, alas, I pull over. I present my New Hampshire license and proof of insurance on my car with IL plates. And he says, "Ma'am, can you tell me why you weren't wearing your seat belt?"

What, now?

This is, of course, crap. Nope, actually, this more closely resembles bullshit. Which I stated, in much, much more polite terms. He assured me, all tough cop guy, that he had seen with his own eyes both straps of my belt hanging, which indicates that it could not possibly have been buckled. I said, um, no, I fastened it when I left my house, unbuckled to retrieve my proof of insurance, which you undoubtedly saw when you walked up to the car. He says, okay, ma'am (stop ma'am-ing me, you small potatoes one step up from a rent-a-cop jackass!), any tickets in the past year? I said, no, but, listen I was wearing my seat belt, I'm one of those people who's self-righteous about seat belts, I don't know what else to tell you except, I had it on. He says, all right, ma'am, and goes back to his cruiser. I, meanwhile, seethe. He comes back, asks about the discrepancy between my IL plates and my NH license, and writes me a warning for my tail light, which, incidentally, he never actually mentioned. I, again, still pissed at this NYPD Blue wannabe, said, listen bucko, I always wear my seat belt.

Ignore for the moment the number of people (3) that I personally unplugged in the ICU who were there because NH, the Live Free or Die state, guarantees its citizens the right to do just that and has no laws about restraint belts in passenger vehicles if you're over 18. Three years ago, on my way from Nowhere, NH, to Slightly Closer to Civilization, NH, to buy paint at 6:30am, I hydroplaned and rolled my SUV down an embankment, then up and into a tree. Like I said, NH is a state without seat belt laws, so I didn't have to be wearing one. However, I value my brain function, ability to walk, and all those other things.

So yeah, officer, damn straight I was wearing my seat belt.