I really should just go to bed.

I know it's only 7:45. But I'm on call at State Hospital, and I'm a little bit nervous about what the night will bring. And while it's q-u-i-e-t, I should nap, so I can go home and pack (ack!) tomorrow before I go pick Mags up from the day care.

But in new and exciting news, my friend Robin (commonly referred to here as Original Robin) has a new blog all her own, Another Lesson Learned. Check it out. Urge her to post pictures (my nephew is CUTE).

Anyhow.

So it's my mom's birthday, I mentioned that already. It's days like this, things like when Luke was born, stuff like Ali's 30th birthday party, that I get a little more homesick than usual. Especially when I'm all stressed out, because, I don't know, the movers called me like 10 times in 30 minutes today to verify and change things (that was Ruthie's approximation. We spent a lot of time screwing around today, because it was a lazy sort of day. I seriously would've been out of here before noon if it weren't for me being on call. Which is part of why I'm bracing for the deluge to hit). So now I'm moving next Friday, not Saturday (my idea, because of changes Ruthie and I made in the call schedule so I would be able to take the 12th and 13th off), but the movers are coming at 1pm instead of 8am, and I'm confined to one smaller truck (their ideas. Or rather, availability). Although they might be able to get the larger truck with the later move time, because sometimes they go out on short jobs in the morning. And they've officially cancelled packing me. But still with the storage, just one unit instead of two.

Okay, next topic, I'm starting to get a little lightheaded again...

My attending, Dr. Chevy, this morning gave me this whole reminiscent story about how he moved like 11 times in 9 years between college, getting married, med school, having two kids, residency, etc, etc, etc. That was a long time ago, too, dude, the man is old. Okay, I don't really think he's old. But his grandchildren wear him out and he doesn't hear me very well most of the time and he kind of plays up the grandfatherly thing. He's a nice guy. With every intention of getting me out the door ASAP for the next week so I can go home and pack. I appreciate that he's understanding and supportive of these things, you know?

As for the moving company...they run a really tight ship over there, but when you get right down to it, ex-addicts are still not the most organized people, typically. So the fact that the plan is changing so much a week ahead of time is not especially surprising to me, and I think it's positive that at least it's today and not next Wednesday. And I think the coordinator I'm working with just really wants to keep me informed. So I'm not particularly concerned about it.

Okay, that's a lie.

The rational half of my brain isn't worried. Unfortunately, it isn't the dominant hemisphere right now...

This anxiety is of course compounded by the fact that everyone here (at SH) is in a tizzy about what's going to happen and are we really going to close at all and there's all sorts of rallies going on and the attending in Admissions this afternoon gave me a copy of a letter (there's a link on the sidebar of the article) that the physician staff here had written to the head honchos of this whole thing expressing their concern ("pass it around", he says. Dude, whatever, they already conceded to push back the move).

Can I be completely honest? (Of course I can, it's my blog.) I think we should just move in two weeks, when we were slated to go. Maybe the Baby Blue residents should get things up and running, and the Big Blues should come a week later. Not because we're better doctors than them, or whatever, but because Johnny Dix is going to run a lot like our state hospital. And I think, frankly, that another six weeks isn't going to solve the systems issues that are going to be the core problem. And a lot of staff just jumped ship again because of the uncertainty of when they're going to start work. Who can blame them? I say, work like gangbusters between now and then, get the physical plant in the patient-related areas finished, make sure the fire and duress alarms work, etc. I don't actually care if the policy manuals are sufficiently merged or not. We can handle that stuff on the fly for now, and defer to the clinical director if big policy issues arise. I don't actually care if we don't have a credentialing plan in place. I mean, soon, yes, but that's not at the heart of the problem. I don't actually care if all the form paperwork is perfect. Do we have progress notes? Order sheets? What else do we need? Come on, I can write admission orders all by myself, without a little checky-box sheet. I have been known to whip out the ADC VANDISSML in the past. Let's just get on with it already. Let's take care of some patients and let them show us where the problems are. 'Cause they're gonna, whether it's now, or in August when all the paint is dry in the School that they have to convert into offices (I DO NOT CARE if I don't have a "real" office), and the forms are all neat and agreed upon, and they've decided just exactly where to put the lockers in the call room.

Is alls I'm saying. Do it already, people. Do something.