Life, Love, and the thing about crazies

Oh, such a long, long, long day.

Today was another one of those days where I didn't have five minutes to sit down. Rounds, team, which went straight into a really tough family meeting. Which got interrupted by my next family meeting. Which I had to cut short at three minutes to lecture, and I still needed lunch. So I ran down to the coffee shop for a kind of disappointing salad (it's not so much that the salad is bad, it's actually decent, but that they didn't have the Mediterranean Vegan Platter that I like so much), and then I of course got interrupted several times for pages that actually had to be answered (I was reeeeeeeeeeeeeally bad about returning pages today, because I spent so much time in session). Then lecture, then phone calls, then the meeting that didn't happen, then upstairs to interview my sweet little 5 year old who said he gets "whupped with a belt" when his dad is mad. Which went long, and broke my heart. And then like three crises hit at once. Including Monkey's mom suddenly wanting to apparently act like his mother and take him home this weekend. Which turned out to be, well, not. And then there was problem, after problem, after problem. And then I came home, and then actually sat down and wrote my notes for the day.

::sigh::

You know what, though? I love my job.

I have to say, though, I kind of forgot, because I've been so busy, that tomorrow's my last day on Child and Adolescent. So I've done kind of a terrible job of terminating. I mean, Marlena knows I'm going off service, but I don't know that I've prepared her for it, because when she came in I was thinking it was going to be a short stay and that she might leave tomorrow. My other adolescent won't notice I'm gone. My one kid went home today, the one I admitted yesterday knew I was only going to be around until Friday (although they somehow think they're following up with me, which let me tell you, no). My third kid will notice that Penguin Shrink isn't me, but he'll be okay with it when I say goodbye tomorrow.

I'm really worried about Marlena and Monkey.

Like I said, Marlena knows I'm going, but I worry that she's not going to handle that all that well. I'm the first person she's been able to be safe with and talk frankly about what her uncle did. She totally outed me today, too, in her family meeting. She was yelling at her parents, after she was able to say that she didn't feel safe with her current therapist, and she says, "I have to see somebody who's been through what I've been through. I have to have someone to talk to that understands." I was like, I know, kiddo. That's totally what you need.

Monkey...I haven't told Monkey I'm going. I really don't think he's going to take it well. He's gotten pretty attached, particularly for a kid with attachment issues. Today, he had a toothache, and he comes up to me and holds my hand against his cheek to make it better. Aw, it was so sweet. His mom may not want to take him home, but I totally would. I think my attending would, too. He's really messed up, this poor kid, and a lot to deal with, but he's just so sweet. So broken. Such battered innocence.

Speaking of which, I sat down with my other little guy, the five year old, and tried to institute what the child abuse psychologist had given me yesterday. Let's talk about what you know about the body. What's this part? What's it for? Anything else? How about this one? Now let's talk about the parts under your clothes. The belt thing turned out to be nothing reportable, but then he draws me this bathtub, and tells me all about how his brother touched his winkie in the shower.

Okay, he didn't just tell me. It took a lot of giggling and patience and crayon wax.

His brother told him it would be fun. It really upset him, though, when this happened. My kid? Mad. Not fun.

Wasn't expecting to find that. Was looking for, honestly? Daddy spanks me. Which I got. And a little bit more. So it's not reportable, but, I had to sit down and tell his dad.

It was busy today. It was tumultuous today. But you know what? I was helpful today. I like being helpful.

I think it's settled. I mean, we'll see how the outpatient stuff goes next year, but I think I'm going to do a Child and Adolescent fellowship.

I think I have whiplash from the change in direction my life just took. Again.