One for the archives

First of all, I want to just say that two days of back to back call, even short call, is a bad idea. Don't let me do that again.

I don't know what's wrong with me, really. Lots of people work two jobs and 16 hour days all the time. Now, it's somewhat possible that they have less stressful jobs than I do. But, nonetheless.

Anyhow.

Before I go collapse into my bed, I have to share this. I got the absolute best crisis call of all crisis calls, ever.

So the pager goes off, and it's an outside call routed through our call center, so whomever is calling has called the operator, asked for the psychiatrist on call, and is still holding. They in turn page me with a name and callback number, as well as an internal extension I can call to connect as long as they stay on the phone. I look at the pager, and recognize the name as the call I missed earlier (which is weird, because I'm usually obsessive about the crisis pages. But I was really inefficient and distractable tonight, because, alas, second night in a row on call). So I call the extension, and I start with my usual opening line...

Me: Hello, this is Dr. J, I'm the emergency psychiatrist on call. How can I help you?
Her: Hi, this is Jane. I have a question.
Me: Okay.
Her: About a word.
Me: ...okay?
Her: I'm not sure if it's a medical word or not.
Me: Um, okay.
Her: The word is "impulsive."
Me: .....in what context did they use that word?
Her: What?
Me: How did they use that word?
Her: Well...I had a psych evaluation today. And they said that I was 'calm, laid back, easy going, and impulsive'.
Me: Ah. So what do you think that word means?
Her: Well, I think, like, calm, laid back, easy going.
Me: ....um....well...."impulsive" means that, like, when you think of something, you just do it, you don't think about it a whole lot before you do it.
Her: Oh, that's totally me.
Me: Oh?
Her: Yeah, I always think about things a lot before I do them.
Me: Uh....okay....
Her: So is it a good word or a bad word?
Me: Well, it's not really a good word or a bad word. It's just a description. That's all.
Her (sounding very satisfied with that answer): Oh! Okay. Well, thank you.
Me: Er...glad I could help.

You know how, when you found a word in your report that you didn't understand, and instead of googling it, or going to the dictionary, or asking, I don't know, pretty much ANYONE else, you decided it seemed like a good idea to call the hospital and ask to speak to the psychiatrist on call? Yeah, that's what it means.