Biting the apple

::sigh:: Knowledge has always come at a high price.

I've concluded that Adam and Eve did not encounter a serpent in Eden, but in fact a representative from my student loan company (I know, sometimes it's hard to tell). They caught up with me today (I say that like I've been hiding from them instead of answering the phone and saying, oh, right, is it that time of year again? Which form do I send in this time?). Apparently, I've "used up" all my residency deferment, despite the fact that I've only been in residency two years, but technically, since I graduated in '04 and should be making attending money by now, I should be able to pay the ridiculously insane amount they think is "reasonable". I laughed outright when he suggested this number. I said, look, I'm barely scraping by on what I make. I have rent, and a car payment, and I'm rather fond of heat and electricity and eating, too. And once in a while I like to do or acquire things that bring a little pleasure into my life. Because I need a little to counteract all the ready-made stress. And I don't think I ask very much. Do you see me buying a big ol' flat screen? No. But I'm rather attached to my Starbucks runs. I think this is reasonable.

And let's be honest - even if I gave stayed out of Target for the rest of my residency, I wouldn't be saving enough to make the payments they want.

Argh.

So apparently I can get a reduced sentence rate for six months, but then it'll go up. In reality, I'll pull more credit card debt for six months, and then argue with them again about how I can't afford the payments. Sorry, folks, but I'm on a fixed income here until moonlighting options open up (and honestly, that's when I was going to start paying them back. Can't they be a little more patient?). I don't know what they want me to do about it.

I'll figure something out. It'll be fine. But, still, I'm working a bajillion hours a week, I'm exhausted, and I've had a shitty past four years. I've been an intern twice. Shouldn't that by itself qualify me for some sort of insanity deferment?

Argh. Did I mention that already? I'm just not in the mood for this.

I've been thinking that in August I'm going to go back to the LYS and see if I can't get some teaching hours there. Which is not going to approach making a dent even in the reduced loan payment, obviously, but maybe it can keep me in yarn money. I was thinking more along the lines of, it'll get me out of the hospital a little more and maybe broaden my social base. And maybe I can get a discount on spinning classes (yarn spinning, not the kind on a bicycle) and fiber and spindles and things.

I've also been thinking about getting my MBA. Probably through Walden or UoP or some other ridiculous online institution, so I can work around my clinic schedule. And I just want the knowledge, it's not like I need to be a graduate of Kellogg. I was thinking this year might be the time to start that, because I have more time, except, what? I can't afford it. But maybe if I'm accruing more loans, the other ones will go back into non-repayment status, so maybe this is the time to do that. Wait, but then I end up with more loans...

Whatever. Truth be told, I'm just excited to have health insurance and not be getting paid in yarn anymore...or to be condemned to wearing fig leaves, for that matter.