Every now and then every girl needs...

Which is a reference to this song:



(I really like Leann Rimes. Like, as an entity. She's grown up quite gracefully.)

Today did not go especially well.

Call was fine. I was on with Scott and then Fang. Scott, who was on for the third time in five days and was supposed to leave by 10pm, left at 2am. Which was partially my (and Fang's) fault - we kept talking to him. If we'd just ignored him and made him write his notes, maybe he would've gotten out of there before I went to bed. But on the whole, the evening did not suck.

Strangely, I'm not as excited about this "end of call" thing as I want to be. I'm a little freaked out by it, frankly. Like, it definitely marks the end of something, a change, an evolution of my professional life. For the past seven years it's been part of my identity. Even when I was "on sabbatical" and not actively taking call, it was something I did, planned to do again, a fact of my life. It's something that is very different from normal people's jobs.

I don't think I'm trying to say I'm afraid to be normal. I just think, it's a shift. A harbinger of change.

I spent a good deal of time today contemplating the difference between novelty and change. I like novelty. Change makes me anxious. But I'm not entirely certain how they're different.

Gomer sent me a weirdly cryptic text yesterday afternoon, saying "be sure to watch the news tonight for important gym information." I was like, what?? I finally pestered him again around 11, because there was no "watching the news" in my evening, and he confirmed what I've been saying for over a month - our gym is closing. June 30th. Frack. So we talked about it a bit and came up with a plan because they were going to relocate him to the location Ruthie goes to. It's a meat market, and everyone from work goes there, but I like my trainer and so, fine, for him I'd go to Ruthie's club. Except then, this morning, there was this article in the local paper saying that the chain is closing all of the Triangle locations within three months.

I'm so not pleased. I like my gym. I like the people at my gym. My gym is comfortable and generally emotionally safe. I have gym friends. Where are we all going to go?

Allegedly, the gym that's next door to my apartment bought out all of my gym's current contracts. Which, I guess that's handy. I don't know what that means for me and Gomer. I like Gomer. Gomer and I work well together. He's pretty. He's also comfortable and generally emotionally safe.

Do they not understand how hard it is for me to go to the gym in the first place? Some day I'll post about just how unbelievably charged this whole thing actually is for me...

I also got my TSH drawn today. My doc and I have been steadily increasing my dose of thyroid hormone for several months now. At the last draw, it was down to high-normal, which meant it was responding to a reasonable dose of the meds. That was three months ago. Today? The highest it's ever been. What the fuck, people? That makes no sense.

I also got called into the principle's office today. Okay, because of a problem I went to her with, but I have to go meet with my program director tomorrow. I feel like I'm so very in trouble, primarily because of the way she worded her email, which was not actually indicative of me being so very in trouble, but rather of her paying attention to what I was saying. However, she happened to use the exact same phrase that my program director at the Emerald Palace used to basically tell me they wanted to put me on probation ("We should talk about this." Not exactly an uncommon bit of verbiage). That's definitely not what's happening here. But logically knowing that doesn't make me any less anxious about it.

A couple of other things happened. All in all, it was not a good day.

But then, I got a little nap, got a little shower (since I finally went to the gym today, and of course, now there's NO air conditioning at all), and went and picked Maggie up from the daycare. And then I went and got a cheap manicure at this place I went to a couple of times when I lived here first year. They're extremely reasonable and they do pretty good work. And then I went and had dinner with Sparrow and Rene at this local Mexican place I've been wanting to try (Ruthie got lost and Peng was on call, but I like to think they were there in spirit). And by the end of that, I felt so. much. better.

LeAnn knows what she's talking about.

Thanks, ladies.