Chili Dog

Mags and I made chili today.


Well, okay, she didn't actually help much, except for the cleanup of anything I dropped in the process of making said chili. And she isn't actually going to get to eat the chili. So really, the only involvement she really has in this process is....well....being very hopeful....

I rarely pull out my crock pot, because honestly, it's hard to make anything for one person in a crock pot. And the "turn it on in the morning, it's done when I get home from work!" idea doesn't go as well when you work ten hours a day or more. But it seemed like a good idea when I got home from the Fresh Market today....

This all started because I bought a piece of cornbread (a piece, as in, one serving) at the Whole Foods yesterday morning. And they didn't have any chili. And they didn't have any of my favorite Bear Creek Chili Soup Mix. So I thought, oh, I haven't made chili in a while, I have tomatoes and beans at home, cool. But then I didn't soak the beans. So I picked up canned beans today. And chili seasoning. And hot sauce. And I looked at the chili seasoning packet, and it said "For one batch - serves 12 - use..." and thought, oh, okay, so if I use one can of tomatoes and one can of beans, I can make like two, maybe three servings of chili...

::sigh:: How many times am I going to need to do this to remember that it NEVER works like that??

In case you're curious, here's how to make Veggie Chili con Kate:

1. Buy cornbread.

2. Decide to call your aunt to get her chili recipie, since you make yours up every time you make it.

3. Remember that your aunt is out of town.

4. Eat leftovers. Think about chili. Totally forget that you have to soak dry beans overnight, and that's all you have in your cupboard.

5. Go to store. Buy chili soup mix. Decide that's no fun, buy canned beans.

6. Pull everything out of the cabinets to get to liberate rarely-used crock pot. Wipe off the layer of dust. Wonder if you've washed it since you moved it from New Hampshire.

7. Dump in a can of beef broth (yep, that's the secret to my veggie chili. I never said it was vegetarian). Add can of crushed tomatoes. Add a can of pinto beans (rinsed, because, gross) and a can of kidney beans (ditto).

8. Open freezer. Assess contents. Consider how edamame would taste in chili.

9. Decide against edamame. Pull out bags of frozen corn, "stoplight pepper strips" (red, yellow, green). Dump, you know, "enough" of the contents into crock-pot.

10. Add a heaping tablespoon (the recommended amount) of Lysander's Chili Seasoning to crock pot. Then add some more.

11. Remember that you like rice in your chili. Consider fancy rice blends you've been eating lately, dig out plain brown rice. Add what will turn out to be WAY too much rice to crock-pot. Throw in some pearl barley as well for good effect.


12. Add what seems like a really lot of chili powder. Feel slightly giddy at the prospect of good spicy chili.

13. Decide that there's not nearly enough water in the crock pot. Add a tomato can-full of water to the mix.

14. Turn crock pot on to low. Shred new favorite cheese that you can't seem to bring yourself to eat straight (it's called Seaside Cheddar, and it's from Whole Foods. It's got little crystals of sea salt in it. Which makes it very tasty, but also weirdly gritty if you just hack off a chunk and eat it), by hand. Feel very fancy. Walk away. Talk on phone. Try to knit. Screw around on internet. Talk on phone some more. Read email. Come back to stir occasionally.

15. Decide there's now far too much water in crock-pot. Turn on to high for an hour. Then decide you aren't hungry enough, stir, turn back to low for another hour or so.

16. Realize there's, like, NO liquid in the chili anymore. And that there's enough chili for, like, a church social.

17. Swear a little. Console yourself that at least you didn't burn it this time.

18. Nuke the cornbread. Break apart and add butter. Get a little dizzy from huffing the cornbread fumes.

19. Try the chili. Realize it's pretty good, but about as spicy as ketchup. Decide the dog can lick the bowl after all. Make sure there aren't any beans left in the bowl when you give it to her, because you're not going to make THAT mistake again.

20. Blog about the chili. Obviously.