Maggie-isms

How to speak Dog - a brief course in translation, by Maggie.


Scene: Sunday morning, and a Starbucks cinnamon roll.


Wow. Look at that cinnamon roll. Hmm. That looks like a tasty little pastry. Mmm. I, you know, I'd really like a bite of that. That, I mean, that looks like the tastiest cinnamon roll I've ever seen, in my whole life. And you know cinnamon rolls are my favorite food ever, right? I know last night my very favorite food was spaghetti. But no, really, it's cinnamon rolls. Mmmm, cinnamon rolls.

You want to give me the cinnamon roll.....you want to give me the cinnamon roll.....you WANT to give me the cinnamon roll....you want to give MEEEEE the cinnamon roll....I'm irresistable.....I'm sooooo cute.......I'm so cute you want to give me things....I'm so cute you want to feeeeeeeeed meeeeee......feed me cinnamon rolls......

Alright already. Look at me. I'm a good girl. I'm sitting, for Pete's sake. Look how good I sit. I'm cute, and I'm sitting, and I'm a good sitting cute dog. What more could you want?? How are you not going to give me the cinnamon roll? What are you, made of stone? Are you totally heartless that you'd let me starve and just eat kibble? Woe, woe is the puppy.

::huff:: Fine....but anything you drop is mine, and don't you forget it. It hits the floor, it belongs to the puppy. Unless of course you change your mind and want to just give me some. I'm gonna wait right here just in case. Right here, where I have a good view of the floor, but also close, if you want to rethink that decision to not share with your favorite best dog in the whole wide world.

For the record, the cinnamon roll wasn't all that good anyway....