More nostalgia

Three years ago today, I was on a plane to Chicago. My aunt, my uncle, my cousin came over for dinner. I remember feeling so wiped out, and, like, not even there. I felt grey. Colorless. Numb. I pulled out the two variations on black that I'd brought for the conference and picked one. And then I lay in my bed and stared at the ceiling fan and wished I could feel something other than blackness.

Three years ago today, I still wasn't thinking of leaving my program.

Today, I woke up at half past dark and pulled on my work clothes (still, variations on black, I admit) and went to a meeting about crazy pregnant lady with the OB/G department. I discovered that I was "famous" over there as the psych resident who can check a cervix. They love me. They? Seem to think I know OB. I find this really ironic. And they gave me a cookie for coming in at quarter to early on my vacation.

I'm a sucker for a cookie and some validation.

So then I went and checked in on the unit. Talked to one of my patients, who was like "You've been gone one day and they already changed my medication for no good reason and they're screwing it up." Then I did some paperwork, and then I had my annual review with my program director.

They like me. They really like me.

It was nice. I mean, I kinda knew that, since my attending gave me a review last week and said things like "I really think you were born to do this." But it was really nice to hear. And she asked if this experience was different from the last one. She says, "I hope it's like night and day." I laughed.

It's like night and penguins.

So then I spent a while on a conference call with crazy pregnant lady's guardian and her boss. Then I went to the noon lecture/conference/support group/free lunch thingie. Then I'm finally walking out of the hospital, and the woman whose house I'm trying to rent in June calls me. So I pop on over, chat with her, meet the dog, discuss the specifics. Somewhere in there my crazy friend Rachel calls me, and she's sick, and could I pick up her antibiotics? Of course I can. And then I had to get her car out of the muddy ditch at the end of her driveway, because I'm from Chicago, and we know how to do those things.

Then I came home and decided to brush out the dog for like a half hour. Which took almost two hours, because the little girls across the way decided they wanted to help. Still got a lot of fur off, though, eventually. And then I came in, changed out of the clothes covered in dog hair, and took leftover chili over to my aunt's. We ate chili. we watched a really sweet movie (The Jane Austen Book Club. I could've sworn I'd read the book, but, maybe I never got around to it. I know I own it, because my friend Sue gave it to me). I was instantly in love with the adorable male lead. So adorable.

It was a nice day.